Don’t Marry Someone Until You’ve Asked Him These 20 Questions!
TanayaEditorial Coordinator, POPxo
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Marriage is a beautiful bond. It is also one of the most important decisions of your life - and this decision should not be made unless you are thoroughly sure about your partner. It is another level of commitment and there are many things you might want to ask your partner before you say “I DO.”Here are a few serious, funny and cute questions you both might want to ask each other.
1. Work after marriage?
If you are working and want to continue doing so after marriage, it is important to discuss this with your partner beforehand. As a woman, it shouldn’t be expected out of you to leave your job after marriage. Also, if you choose to continue working after marriage, you must ask your partner about the division of household chores too. You should not be asked to reach home from work and get on with doing house work all by yourself. It’s a partnership, after all.
2. Do we want kids?
How many kids do you both want? When do you see yourself becoming parents? How many years do you want to have to yourselves before becoming parents? These are also some questions every couple should discuss. Having kids is a life changing choice, thus it is always better to talk about such a thing beforehand and know whether both of you have a similar line of thought as far as this topic is concerned.
3. Will we have a TV in the room?!
Haha, okay - not as important as some other things - but important nonetheless! Girls, a lot of issues can crop up because of a TV in the room. One of you might just be against the idea of having a TV in the room, while the other just cannot sleep without watching some TV. What happens? Well, this is absolutely why they call marriage, an adjustment.
4. Joint family or nuclear family?
It doesn’t matter whether it is your parents or his parents, they are important people in your life - and you both should make decisions keeping them in mind. You both should also sort out any issues or problems you have with each other’s families and start loving them and accept them as your family too.
5. Are you an early riser?! And if so, do you expect me to wake up early too?
What if your partner is a morning person and you are not? Would you wake up early for him? On days when he has early meetings at work and you don’t, would you wake up early just to have morning tea with him? At times when you just cannot open your eyes, is he willing to get ready in the dark and not disturb you?
6. What about our finances?
It is absolutely not rude/embarrassing to ask your partner questions related to money. You should feel completely free to ask him how much he earns and he should know about you too. You both must also raise questions about how much one likes to spend/save, as these are small things that if not discussed, are likely to become major issues in the future.
7. Do you want pets?
One of you might be allergic to the very idea of pets while the other one might be a complete animal lover. What happens? Do you get a pet or not? If one of you is fond of dogs and the other isn’t, would you agree to adjust for each other?
8. Will we be a part of each other’s decisions?
Will you both take advice from each other? Will you both discuss matters before taking important decisions? Being married means sharing one life. Decisions taken by one will directly have an impact on the other. Small or big, there are going to be many situations in front of both of you - and thus you both need to agree to take decisions together.
9. Will we adjust for each other?
There could be something about you that your partner might not like or vice versa. It is essential for a couple to decide how much are they willing to adjust for each other. Marriage is all about give and take and there will be times when you will be required to put your partner’s needs above yours. Are you ready for that?
10. Is there anything you want to strike off your bucket list before you get married?
A boys trip? A striptease performance? You must ask each other if you both have any crazy wishes you want to fulfil before you get married. You can also make this a way of asking him his secret wish and surprising him by making it come true!
11. Anything you believe you shouldn’t give up for marriage?
There might be certain things that you or your partner don’t want to give up after marriage. It is always better discuss such things well in time rather than letting them become the reason for a tiff between the two of you later in life.
12. Will we as a couple be able to survive the challenges we will face?
All relationships have their ups and downs, but it is the commitment the couple has for each other which makes them overcomes these problems. It is up to both of you to work out your issues and not let them ruin the fabric of your relationship. You both need to decide to always stick by each other, trust each other and always be there for your partner for the rest of your life.
13. Do you snore?
Okay, this is extremely important! Some people are absolutely adverse to any kind of sound when they are sleeping. It is always better to find out whether your partner snores so that you know you have to carry ear plugs in your trousseau!! :P
14. Can we discuss sex openly?
Do you expect me to share all my fantasies? What if I don’t want to share any of them? Is there anything you will never want to do in bed? Is there anything you’ve always wanted to do in bed? A couple needs to be open about discussing sex and there is no shame in talking about sex with your partner. You both should be comfortable talking about what you both like in bed and also about your fantasies.
15. Do you have basic survival skills?!
What happens when the cook/cleaning person does not come for a day? Will we be able to manage the house? Do you both have the basic skills required to cook an actual meal and not just maggi?!
16. What happens when we both want different things?
Does it always have to be your way? It is natural for two people in a relationship to be different and have different tastes and choices. Fights and arguments are bound to happen, but you both should be able to compromise for each other. You both should understand that it does not have to be one person’s way all the time - rather, it should be OUR way and this will ensure that your marriage goes a long way.
17. Independence after marriage?
What are your views on guys/girls nights? How often will we see our friends? Can we go on trips with our friends without each other? Marriage does not mean the end of your independence, and if you and your partner have communicated well about this topic, marriage will never feel suffocating.
18. Do we know our darkest sides?
Do you both know everything about each other? Your past? Your future plans? Your weaknesses? Your fears? Make sure you both open up about everything with each other.
19. How many cupboards in the room do I get?!!!
Yes girls, we know how important clothes and shoes are - and how much space we all need to keep them safely. Especially when it comes to hanging those long anarkalis and gowns! Your partner should also know about this love of yours and should not be shocked when your suitcases reach his house. :P
20. When I get older and lose my hair, many years from now, will you still be my Valentine?