Imagine you are married. Now also imagine that you’re married into a joint family - yes, like most Indian women. Ever wondered what all would happen if you wanted to get intimate with your husband? There are moments in the day when you just feel like hugging him for no reason, but you can’t. When you feel the urge to kiss him after he does something sweet for you, but you can’t. Or you simply feel like holding his hand while watching a romantic movie, but you CAN’T. Why? Because you’re surrounded by your family members.
Is it really that bad though? Maybe, maybe not. Read on to see what a few real life couples had to say about getting intimate with their partners in an arranged marriage setting. Here are their answers, courtesy Quora!
1. Apurva Gayakwad Answers on Quora: “Intimacy isn't just sex, it's also about cuddling, small pecks, hugging, etc. You cannot sit in the bedroom with doors and windows closed when the family is home and awake. Even after lights out, you cannot explore your sexuality fully as there's a possibility of some noise. You end up doing the necessary stuff quietly and go off to sleep.”
“The solution to this is taking weekend trips to nearby places or sending the family to overnight picnics. ;)”
2. Richa Vyas Answers on Quora: “The things that we sacrificed were short pajamas, shorts, skirts. All I could wear was long, loose pajamas and big size tees. Though there is no chance but if at all these clothes turn dear husband on, inform him to wait till everybody sleeps ;)”
3. Anonymous Answers on Quora: “How can not having the option of closing your room's door be the choice of an adult and not be under scrutiny for being disrespectful. Or why should mothers-in-law fish around in your privacy to find condoms.”
“The solution to this could be, be clear with your parents that you would need privacy. That you might have different choices in life and lifestyle than what your parents would. That you would of course make time to spend time with your parents, but that doesn't mean that you would give up on the beautiful years of life and intimacy because you were supposed to behave well or keep the volume down.”
4. Swapnil Chavan Answers on Quora: “It's perfectly fine about the embarrassing experience you are thinking about "having sex inside when your parents are outside". It will just go away and fade in time. Remember my friend - one always runs into anxiety when one brings up morality into sex.”
“The thing about noises you mentioned, oh! Damn... There is no way to stop them! I would suggest to play some loud music while having sex - you know a romantic song or rock music, something like "Tears Don't Fall by Bullet for my valentine", it will also do the job of motivating you. :P”
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Published on May 19, 2016