With our stressful lives and soaring temperatures, getting furious is the easiest thing to do. However, these anger arousing interactions with our significant other can often pose a problem for the health of our relationships. That’s why, it’s crucial to learn to deal with rage, particularly in a relationship. Tame your temper and learn to control your anger before it controls you. Here’s how...
1. Think differently
First off, learn to acknowledge that the person who is angry is not necessarily wrong. Yes, all that yelling and shouting is obviously incorrect - but to assume that the person is also wrong will only make you angrier and want to hurl hurtful words. Don’t.
2. Think about the bigger picture
Sometimes, really trivial things trigger our anger. The wet towel on the bed for instance or the wrong food order! Know that these are just trivial things and are definitely not worth your blood pressure rising. Talk and express in kind words how much these pet peeves irritate you.
3. Think before you speak
In the heat of the moment, it’s easy to say something you’ll regret for the rest of your life. Take a deep breath, think for a moment, collect your thoughts and analyse its repercussions first. If you can achieve that kind of control over your anger – you’ll rock!
4. Wait for the calm after the storm
Anger begets anger. Let the moment pass, then express your frustration in an assertive but nonconfrontational way. Make sure you state your concerns clearly and directly.
5. Don’t aim to hurt
Afterall, you love your partner, don’t you? Then what’s the point in saying things that will hurt them. Use the right time and place to say what you need to say, but never with the purpose of putting them down.
6. Meditate together
And we don’t really mean yoga (although it will work wonders) – do what makes you happy. Like listening to music, chanting, going for a run, watching comedy…anything that clears your head so that you aren’t at boiling point all the time.
7. Take a break
We all need that time out from the mundane so that things don’t feel so hard on us. Give yourself short breaks during the day but also take the time out for a mini-vacation every now and then. That way you both will find that your tempers don’t fly as easily.
8. Identify possible solutions
Instead of focusing on the things that make you angry, work on resolving the issue. The solutions may not necessarily be lucrative for both, but at least you won’t be bottling up your feelings all the time.
9. Avoid criticizing all the time
Imagine a constantly nagging person sitting on your head. Don’t be that person for your partner. Take onus and give time. Rome wasn’t built in a day.
10. Never hold a grudge
If you allow anger to crowd out positive feelings, you’ll never be happy. You can’t expect everyone to behave the way you want them to at all times. Follow the forgive-and-forget mantra and your partner will soon catch up.
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Published on May 17, 2016