So you want to spice things up in the bedroom, but don’t know if you’re doing it the right way? We get it. We’re answering 10 questions most girls have about “experimenting” in bed for the first time - ‘coz you can’t let confusion keep you from trying new stuff out, right?
1. “Do I need to be waxed ‘down there’ if he wants to go down on me?”
Whether you have hair down there or not is completely your choice. It doesn’t make as much of a difference to guys as we think and spend so much time stressing over. As long as it’s trimmed and neat, you have nothing to worry about.
2. “When I go down on him, his smell overwhelms me and completely turns me off. What do I do?”
Showering before getting busy always helps. And if you're afraid of how to tell him that without hurting his feelings, then just pull him into the shower with you! It'll be fun, amazing foreplay and solve your problem too!
3. “How long do I have to have him in my mouth? Wouldn’t my jaw start to hurt in that awkward position?”
There isn’t any “time frame” for this one. You can carry on until the time you start getting uncomfortable. You can take breaks in between by kissing him on the lips or his other body parts. It would make the whole experience even more exciting for him.
4. “What if he cums in my mouth? Or worse, I’ve heard some men even have a sensation to pee when you’re giving them a blow job...is that true?”
Sometimes, accidents happen. He might just cum in your mouth. So, if he does, be calm and go spit it out. Brush your teeth. Use a mouthwash. And, no, guys can’t accidentally pee when they’re turned on, since their equipment is at that point - physiologically speaking - being used for a different purpose. But if it bothers you to think about it, before you give him a blow job, make sure he visits the loo to answer nature’s call - and washes up!
5. “Are there any sex toys available in the Indian market that we could use to, um, further the pleasure?”
Yes, there are intimate wear stores that sell sex toys in India - though their display is something that the law is slightly vague about. Because of hygiene concerns, though, it’s better to buy stuff at a proper store (even if it’s more expensive) than roadside stalls.
6. “Where exactly should you put the video camera if you want to record your makeout session?”
Er. Get hold of a tripod, place it a little distance from the bed/ couch, and experiment with the zoom and lens of the camera to get it just right. But make sure you’re using these basic precautions when you’re trying this one out!
7. “I’ve heard anal sex really hurts. Is there any way it could be less painful?”
LUBE! Lots and lots of it! Well, that and patience. It's not something to try when you're feeling spontaneous - you need to be prepared. So plan it, practice your deep breathing and make sure your partner is ready for the extended prep time and to stop at a moment's notice if it's too much for you. Also, keep in mind that it might not work out the first time you try it. And that's totally okay. Take your time!
8. “Also, should he have a condom on, even during anal penetration?”
Yes, because STDs can be spread even through anal penetration. And the membranes of the rectum are particularly sensitive.
9. “Those leather ropes and handcuffs look really scary. Wouldn’t it leave marks and scars where he spanks me?”
Experimenting with ropes and handcuffs should always come after some research. While handcuffs need to be of decent quality, using ropes requires a little bit of knowledge about basic knots and aftercare used in BDSM. Same goes for spanking - your partner needs to understand the level of pain is pleasurable for you and beyond which point it's absolutely no fun. So communicating with him is essential! Tell him when it gets too much and always keep some lotion handy to soothe the skin later. A warm (but not too hot!) bath helps too! P.S.: Silk scarves, etc., are a safe and not-too-scary way to get started!
10. “Using chocolate sauce/ ice/ warm wax - doesn’t it get messy?”
It might... But for the thrill and fun of it, it can be totally worth it! And plus, you won’t really know what you like in bed, unless you experiment a little. Just keep lots of towels handy - and be really careful about not burning yourself if you’re using wax, etc. ;-)