So you have been in a relationship with him long enough and finally both of you decide that it’s time to get hitched. Yayyy! And then, it suddenly dawns upon you - I am getting hitched! OMG!! And then you get all jittery and nervous. That’s perfectly fine girlie, it's only normal. But before you take this enormously awesome step there is some introspection and questioning to be done. Here are a few questions you should ask yourself before you finally decide to get hitched.
1. Why am I getting married?
“Because my parents say it's time?”...“Because I feel if we take more time, we might break up?”... “Because it's sooooooooooo exciting to get married - all the ceremonies, a new life, new people”... “Because all my friends are?” - These thoughts are all red flags. You should be marrying only if you both that feel you want to and only because you love each other and want to spend your lives together. Family or peer pressure, the sense of an impending break up, and sheer excitement about getting married should not be reasons to take this step.
2. Do I feel I deserve someone better?
If the answer is yes, then you probably need to rethink your relationship itself - forget getting married! If you feel this way, it clearly means that something is wrong. For example, there might be issues that both of you haven’t addressed - expectations from each other, your dreams, your fears and the like. There might be a lack of understanding between the two of you. Pause, communicate, and give it some time.
Also read: Is He “The One”? 9 Questions To Ask Yourself Today
3. Am I attracted to him?
If you are already asking yourself this, and you feel like a pretentious jerk for it, then please stop feeling that way. Although the idealists have drummed the idea that attraction is not important in a relationship, into us, it’s an extremely valid question to ask and there is nothing to hawww about it. It is important that you feel attracted to him, and that doesn’t necessarily mean physically. Mere attraction cannot suffice for a relationship, but it definitely is important.
4. Can I unabashedly express my emotions to him?
Jealousy, sadness, remorse, guilt and even lust are emotions that you cannot escape, howsoever hard you try. Are you able to express all these emotions to him without worrying about being judged? And also, is he able to do the same in front of you? If not, then probably there is still an emotional gap between the two of you and you should keep the hitching on hold for a while and work on this.
Also read: Why It’s OKAY If You And Your Guy Aren’t Getting Married Yet!
5. Do I feel trapped?
Do I feel that I am not being able to do something that I want to, only because I am in a relationship with him? And do I put him in the same position too? If something tells you that the answer for this is a yes or a maybe then you probably need to set a few things straight, rather than getting hitched right away.
6. Do I feel Insecure?
Trust is the most important virtue of any relationship. If his past makes you insecure or if you are still asking for his passwords or checking his phone whenever he is not around, then you probably need to take some more time to straighten out your concerns.
7. How much have I changed since I met him? Am I happy with the change?
We have all heard that change is the only constant. A relationship demands understanding and adjustments which will inevitably cause you to change as well. But is that change a positive one? Are you happy about it? Or have you changed in ways which you don’t like? These are all important questions because they go on to determine what kind of impact the relationship has had and will have on you as a person.
8. Can I have fun without him?
Ironically, a lack of space creates unimaginable distances. If you feel that you need him around all the time and cannot have fun if he is not there, then you are probably still in the initial phase of your relationship where you needed to be with one another all the time. It is important that you identify yourself and your happiness outside of him.
Also read: 10 Questions To Ask Yourself Before Making ANY Big Decision!
9. Am I able to accept him and his family?
Do I understand the bonding between him and the members of his family? Am I okay with it? Will he take a stand for me in front of his family when the need arises? Can I do the same for him? If your answer is “no” or “maybe,” then pause a while and sort this out. You are going to be a part of his family and vice-versa once you get hitched. If you are not comfortable answering the above questions with a yes, then take some more time before making the final call.
Getting hitched is a wonderful and beautiful thing, but it is also a great leap as far as your life is concerned. So it’s better to ask yourself these questions before you decide it’s time to say “I do.” And if you are confident that you're ready to dive into this, kudos to you girl! Have a superb wedding and an even better marriage.
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