#MyStory: He Wanted Me To Change - And It Changed My Life…
Rohan and my story started in a very similar way to how most love stories do these days…through Facebook. He sent me a friend request and I took almost two months to accept his request. We started chatting after that and soon we became friends.
He would make me feel very special and I grew emotionally attached to him. At that time, for me, he was the only guy who genuinely cared for me. Though we were not committed in a relationship, I didn’t want to let go of him. However, this feeling didn’t last long.
We were both attending a wedding function and so we decided to meet there - it was the first time we would meet each other. I was so excited to meet him that I took half an hour to get ready; I usually get ready in five minutes flat. I have always been a low-maintenance girl who never bothers much about clothes and makeup.
However, at the function, we hardly met…we just looked at each other from a distance and smiled. We were there with our families, so couldn’t find any alone time as such.
That night I reached home around midnight; I was a little disappointed. It hadn't turned out to be the way I had imagined. And it was about to get worse.
When I opened my WhatsApp to send him a “goodnight” message, there was a long message from him. It said, “I need to talk to you about something, please don't say no to what I'm asking. I want you to go to the parlour and remove your facial hair. If you love me, please don't say no. I want you to get a makeover and look the best.”
I have a hormonal disorder due to which I have a lot of facial hair and I am taking medicines for it. Many people notice this about me, but the way he said all those things made me feel very bad about myself. People who really love you are not supposed to ask you to change. I was in shock: how could a guy who always made me feel so special be so shallow? How could he be so insensitive?
After the initial shock got over, anger crept in and I sent him this reply: “I really don't care if I don't fit into your parameters of beautiful, I seriously don't care. And it doesn't mean that I need to change the way I look. It means that you need to change the way you look at me. Go and find someone else who doesn't need a makeover, and is ready to bake her face with makeup. I cannot be the one you want me to be, I cannot be someone I am not. I love the way I am and that's more important."
That was the moment when I felt empowered and more confident about myself.
Girls, please don’t ever think that you have to change yourself to such an extent to be accepted by a guy. Nobody is perfect and you should be with someone who likes you just the way you are and not with a guy who is ashamed of you.
* Names changed to protect privacy.
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Published on Apr 1, 2016