Our sex lives could be as seamless as they appear to be for actors in movies, if only everything always went right! Worry not sister, for there never was born a problem without a solution too. We’ve brought to you solutions for the 9 most common sex gripes...
Problem 1: He always wants to talk dirty!!
Whether it's over the phone or in bed, if you think talking dirty is not something you enjoy or feel as comfortable with as he does, just tell him. There is just no other solution for this. Unless you’re willing to experiment a little for your partner's sake and indulge in it every now and then!
Problem 2: He just gets to the ‘act’, there is no foreplay
You need to talk to him and tell him that it’s the foreplay that gets your ‘juices’ flowing and really gets you in the mood. And unless you are in the mood for it - he won’t have much fun either. Also, if you’re having issues like not being wet enough because of the lack of foreplay, you should get your hands on a lubricant and initiate foreplay.
Problem 3: He finishes too quickly - I am nowhere near an orgasm!
We know how annoying it could get, so talk to him about it and use encouraging words instead of criticism. Tell him that you love the build up to sex and would want to spice it up, instead of almost being in a hurry to finish. Don’t make him feel like his performance is not good enough, instead tell him the stuff that you especially like him doing.
Problem 4: Most of the times, once he’s done, it’s over.
Guys do feel exhausted after they have climaxed, but it’s not great if everything always has to end before you reach that point too! We understand that at times he can’t really help when he gets done - but when he can, he should focus on satisfying you as much. And at times when he does get done quicker - there are still other ways to continue!
Problem 5: We’re both in the mood for sex at different times of the day.
Some people prefer the day, while the dark of the night gets others going. You will just have to find a mid-way out of this. Maybe you could do it alternatively? Or how about both times if you’re not too tired?! At least that makes a good excuse to have a go at it some more, no? :P
Problem 6: It’s become so mechanical, we’ve been doing it the same old way since forever.
Talk, talk and talk some more. He needs to know that you are willing to try something new to spice things up - there really is no shame in letting him know this. Chances are, he’d actually appreciate if you were to initiate this. A new way to do the same old thing is all you need to bring the spark back.
Problem 7: I just don’t feel like having sex.
This might be a case of lower libido. There are a number of things that can affect our sex drive, from hormonal changes to lifestyle patterns that cause too much stress and literally leave you with no energy. You can take a break from your daily routine, or ask your partner to work on that foreplay to get you in the mood. It’s never too late to visit a gynae, even.
Problem 8: It’s too painful!
There can be many reasons why sex hurts - from vaginal dryness, to him being well endowed, to even diseases and infections. If the pain persists enough to scare you off the act - you must get yourself professionally checked.
Problem 9: I am afraid of anal sex, and he wants us to try.
We understand your inhibition and so would he, if you’d just talk to him about it. But if you would like to give it a try, educate yourself about anal sex, set your limits and let them be known to him as well. Also remember that it’s always a good idea to use lubes during anal sex, as it helps ease the penetration and does not end up being too painful. But if you’re absolutely against the idea - that’s okay too. Just let him in on your thoughts.