Video Content Editor, POPxo
Being in a relationship with someone who is inherently shy or reserved can require some extra work on your part. But if you’re genuinely into the person, then that effort is definitely worth it, right?! Here are a few ways to make your shy partner open up to you.
1. Initiate a conversation that will also be of interest to him
Just talking about your own day, or your work, or anything else that he can’t really contribute to leaves little room for him to actually engage in the conversation. Try and keep the conversation more general and about things that he too can give his input on. This should get him feeling more comfortable about talking stuff over with you.
2. Don’t nag or force him into opening up!
Telling him constantly that he doesn’t talk to you about stuff or that you’re the only one who’s always making an effort with him - that really is not a great way to go about it. If you’re going to make him feel like his shyness is actually a flaw, he will only be more conscious around you rather than feeling comfortable enough being himself and opening up.
3. Compliment him…
Tell him how much you appreciate his efforts every now and then! Never underestimate the power of positive reinforcement. Just a little appreciation for something someone is making an effort to do can work wonders.
4. Find things to do together
Find out what he’s interested in and then chalk out the stuff that the two of you could have fun doing together. Nothing like experiencing different things together and bonding over interesting activities to actually get the ball rolling.
5. Be open about your own life
Open enough to make him feel like it's all right for him to open up too! If he’s already shy or reserved and he sees that you’re keeping things from him, he will naturally not feel 100% comfortable about letting you in on things. Let him see the real you and know that the two of you ought to be completely comfortable and yourselves around one another. There is no room for any sort of judging!
6. Genuinely listen to him when he tells you stuff
Don’t just nod and smile when he tells you stuff - actually listen. If he is a genuinely shy person, talking to you about the stuff that seems so small and trivial to you might actually be a big deal for him. So convey to him, whether in actions or words, that the stuff he tells you is important indeed - and that you are all ears when he’s talking!
7. Let him see your weaknesses too!
Don’t always try and be the perfect one - let him see your vulnerable side! Let him see your weaknesses too so that he feels safe putting his own on the table.
8. Don’t always rush to fill in the “awkward” silence
If you’re dating a shy guy, there will be some silences. But a silence is only as awkward as you make it! If you constantly rush in to fill each silence with chatter, you’re only going to end up making the situation uncomfortable. Let a situation be organic - if silence feels right in that moment, then let there be silence. It isn’t always a bad thing! So don’t view it as something negative and start panicking.
9. Take it slow…
Last, but definitely not the least, don’t rush it. The relationship or your partner. Don’t be in a hurry for him to open up to you or for the relationship to get to the next level. Give him his time - and take yours in trying to understand him. A little love and a little understanding will make you both open up to each other in ways you had never imagined. Just give it time. :)
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Published on Apr 17, 2016