When a person enters into a relationship, they expect it to be sunshine and butterflies, all day, every day. But it doesn’t really turn out to be just that. They say that life is really simple and we tend to over-complicate things beyond measure. The same is the case with a relationship. This is a list of some of the most common problems couples face – and how to deal with them.
1. The Problem: Our comparing nature
We tend to compare our relationship with other people’s relationships.
Exhibit A: A couple you barely know, puts up several pictures of them vacationing on a sunny beach, far, far beyond your reach and you work yourself up, imagining just how much fun they have as a couple and how lucky they are.
Exhibit B: Your friend gushes over how elaborate her engagement party was. You wish you had the same.
We could give many more examples, but you get the gist. A lot of our problems arise out of how we compare our relationship with someone else’s.
The solution: This is easier said than done, but you need to realise that every couple has their own set of problems – they work through their hurdles like you do with the one you love. Nobody wants to or likes to air their dirty laundry in public. So, if you see a couple having a great time, don’t compare. Instead, be happy for them and be happy for what you have too.
2. The Problem: Silent treatment
This problem arises mostly because, let’s face it – women love giving the silent treatment. Men really don’t get the hints, no matter how obvious it may be. Men mostly don’t even realise what they’ve done wrong and that they are supposed to be sorry about it. And in all probability, they won’t realise until you tell them.
The solution: Tell your man exactly what’s on your mind. All of it, don’t leave anything out. Don’t drop hints, don’t give them the silent treatment – just tell them exactly what is wrong and get it over with. Trust us, you will save a lot of time and lessen a lot of fights by just communicating clearly what’s on your mind.
3. The Problem: The ex comes back into the picture
The world is growing smaller every day and there are so many ways of keeping in touch. You are bound to bump into your ex, even if not in person, then through the internet. And when the ex comes back, namely your partner’s ex, one does tend to feel insecure and threatened.
The solution: Your significant other chose to be with you because he sees something in you. He believes in you. Don’t ever underestimate yourself. Just because the ex is back in the picture doesn’t mean that they mean to cause any harm to your relationship. So, chill and have faith in your relationship.
4. The Problem: The friends that we don’t like
In a relationship, there comes a point or several points when you are faced with situations wherein compromising becomes necessary. One such situation is with each other’s friends. While we seek acceptance into each other’s circles, it can get a little too taxing trying to be in the good books of his friends. There could be friends of his that you don’t like and friends of yours that he doesn’t like hanging out with.
The solution: Try to be as neutral and unbiased as possible. First impressions can be lasting ones, but you have to be open to giving second chances. If you still can’t get yourself to like them, try very hard not to be rude to them.
5. The Problem: The commitment issue
Half the world today fears putting labels on their relationships. People shun the idea of monogamy and especially marriage. In many cases, if one partner puts pressure on the other early on in their relationship, it leads to commitment issues. If a woman appears too clingy or dependant, it could soon turn into a deal breaker. The same is the case with a guy. No girl wants a clingy or super possessive boyfriend.
The solution: Learn how to let yourself go. Live in the present moment. Don’t jump to conclusions and don’t rush anything. You’ve got a long life to live, take all the time you need.
6. The Problem: Expecting too much
We are all just human – not superhuman! We are not perfect. To expect too much from anyone else is to dig a hole for yourself and jump into it head first.
The solution: To have any unreasonable expectations from anyone is just not fair, to say the very least. So avoid expecting your partner to do what even you may find difficult. Everyone has different ways of dealing with and doing things. He may express his love in a different way than yours. Respect that.
7. The Problem: Not taking initiatives
It generally happens in every relationship that one person inadvertently is forced to make all the decisions. Where to eat, where to go to, what to do, what movie to watch. It gets monotonous and will eventually be irritating.
The solution: Take action, be alert, be alive. Listen, really listen to what your partner is saying. Get an insight as to what they might want to do. Be assertive and make decisions on your own.
8. The Problem: Non-clarity
This is the “I don’t know where the relationship is going” phase. This could stretch on forever if you let it. People linger on in confused relationships because they are too comfortable just being with someone.
The solution: Make up your mind. To keep someone waiting on a half promise is the worst thing you can do. If you don’t know where it’s going, give it a deep thought and if you see that your thoughts lead nowhere, quit it.
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