Great relationships don’t just happen – it’s the two people involved who decide the fate of a relationship. Sometimes, if you are an independent girl (much like me) then you gotta make some of your own rules along the way. With great pride I present, “An independent girl’s guide to a happy relationship”.
1. Thou shalt go dutch
You earn, he earns. You both like to enjoy life and live it large. Going dutch is the perfect thing to do. No one is submissive or waiting to be spent upon. Just split things equally. It’ll make you feel super cool and your man too will be happy about this arrangement.
2. Thou shalt not play mind games
Between work and family and social life, where is the time for mind games? If we know you, you’re the kind of girl who just says things as it is. So neither should you play mind games and nor should you indulge the boy if he does.
3. Thou shalt work as a team
This one’s especially useful if you’re looking at being with him for the long haul. Working together is definitely a trait of a sorted couple. In the long run, if you two decide to get married – it’ll actually be quite the breeze. You both know how to handle the house as well as the finances. It just works!
4. Thou shalt not have a double standard
Just the way you expect him to cook and clean as well, you are also expected to handle things like changing the light bulb or getting the car serviced. These are the unspoken rules of being in an equal relationship. Don’t suddenly go from being an independent girl to a damsel in distress.
5. Thou shalt always make time for yourself
Being an independent girl means you probably handle many roles at once. Since you’re only human, sometimes this may get to you. What you need is some quality “alone time” and you shouldn’t refrain from having it. Nor should it bother you if your man wants some of his own.
6. Thou shalt involve him in life decisions
Sometimes, we independent girls get a little carried away with the I-don’t-really-need-anyone mantra. This is when we hurt the people close to us - when we don’t even bother to ask them for their opinions. Have you been offered a job in another country? Even if it’s great money and awesome for your career, please discuss it with your man. Because whether or not you like it, it will have repercussions on your relationship.
7. Thou shalt have an open channel of communication
I think we’ve cried ourselves hoarse driving this point home. Communication is the key to a happy relationship. Yes, we’re sure you have a busy life, but that’s no excuse to not communicate with your man. Make the time. This doesn’t mean you need to be stuck to your phone all day. It just means that instead of snapchatting everything you do, just call him and have a meaningful conversation.
8. Thou shalt not compare yourself to him
You are not lesser than anybody – that’s not the point we are trying to make! But just because you are fiercely independent and are climbing the ladder of success, doesn’t mean you keep comparing yourself to your man and his career graph. There are some people you should never do that with – your siblings, best friend and boyfriend definitely come under that category.
9. Thou shalt surprise him with sweet gestures
It takes a real man to be with a strong, confident, independent woman. He deserves to be pampered sometimes, just the way he tries to pamper you. Don’t always play the girl card and expect gifts and other sweet gestures. Play the independent girl card, and be the one to make the gestures instead.
10. Thou shalt never feel the need to compromise your independence
The best part about being with an independent girl is that she doesn’t NEED to be with you, she WANTS to be with you. Truer words were never spoken, right? There are plenty of men out there who are secure enough to be happy with girls like us. If he’s making you feel bad about it...he’s just not a secure enough man. You are fiercely independent and are an asset to any relationship you walk into – don’t change that for anyone, girl. You do you!