First Year Of Marriage: 7 Challenges & How To Deal With Them!
Smriti NotaniGuest Contributor
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You’re barely getting over the fact that you are now a Mrs and at the same time there are so many more things to adjust to. We’ve been there and that’s why we can help you with the following tips for all the challenges in the first year of marriage – breathe easy babe, you got this!
1. Time Management
Suddenly find yourself busier than the Prime Minister? That’s because balancing two families, a career and a social life is no easy task! What you can do to make life a little easier is devise a schedule and stick to it. This will not only let you cram more things into your day, but it will also give everybody the chance to adjust to your routine. We know this is easier said than done, but all good things take a little bit of practice and effort.
2. Girly Time Is Needed
You’re married now but the rest of your girl gang may not be! This can be a bit challenging because they all get to meet and hang out just as they always have. If you feel it’s getting hard for you to keep up, have a word with them about it! Maybe they can come closer to where you stay for their next plan. Or maybe they can keep in mind that last minute plans don’t suit you, so next time they’ll give you prior notice! Either way, real friends always understand...it just takes a little bit of open communication.
3. Living With A Boy!
As much as you may have dreamed of this phase, there are some realities that only hit you once you’re married. Living with a member of the opposite sex is one such. Even though this may just be a stereotype - boys aren’t known for their cleanliness or love for housekeeping - things like the wet-towel-on-the-floor syndrome always anger you to no extent.
So what do you do then? Well, we’ll be honest here. To some extent, get used to the fact that the person you’ve married cannot be a clone of you. He has his own quirks and eccentricities and over time you just have to get used to them. But if some of his habits are really irking you, don’t nag him. (That almost never works!) Instead, just talk to him about how you’d feel a lot more at home if he’d make a few little changes here and there for you.
4. Missing The Family
This one tends to hit some of us hard once we are done with all the wedding festivities and real life begins. But it doesn’t have to be a sad, filmy story. So before you cue some slow Bollywood number in the background, let’s think of how to deal with it. Just because you’re married now does NOT mean you can’t communicate with your family ever so often.
Fix a day in the week where you’ll definitely have a meal with them. For example, Sunday lunch can always be at Mom’s. Or if you guys would like to keep up your tradition of watching movies together, you can always watch every alternate movie with them. If you’re too far away, then make sure to pencil in phone dates or Facetime plans! Thank god for technology, right?
5. Communication Conundrum
If you are finding it super hard to communicate with the husband’s family then here’s what you should do. Firstly, don’t assume they are the worst people and want to see you miserable. So, try speaking to them in a friendly instead of an angry manner. Be open, honest and real.
If for some reason this doesn’t work out, rope in the husband. I know in the old days, they used to say leave the men out of all this. But I’m afraid I don’t agree with that concept. Today, we choose partners who equal to us in every way. So take his help as to how you should navigate through this problem. Besides, he knows his family best and will actually have the answer.
6. Expectation Setting
Even though a large part of the ‘expectation setting’ exercise should ideally take place before the wedding, all is not lost if it didn’t. If you’ve married into a family where they expect you to be wayyy more domestic than you are, or way more outgoing than you like...then looks like there is an expectation mismatch. You can’t spend your whole life living a lie. So just confront them about this. Be honest about the fact that this is not something you enjoy. Don’t be rude about it; say what you have to in a good-natured manner. Let things sink in, but ideally, they will back off in terms of the pressure.
7. Alone Time!
Just because you’re married does not mean you don’t need alone time! You can totally explain this to your hubby – no need to feel shy about it. You and he can figure a way for you to indulge in an activity you love all by yourself. Perhaps wake a little early and take off for a swim? Or after the nightly ritual of milk and hugs, you could indulge in an hour of uninterrupted Netflix. Just Netflix – no chill!