There's no real way to spin this otherwise, girls - PMS sucks! While some of us get cramps and others are moodier than usual, there are some things that are just TOO damn true during this time of the month. Read on to see if you agree!
1. Chocolate in any form deserves poetry.
An ode to chocolate:
Chocolate, I love you - you make my life complete.
Even if nothing else is going right, just knowing I have your comfort makes everything neat.
Your crumbly, melty creamy texture makes my ovaries sing
Even when all I really want to do is scream, “Aghhh I hate you F*** EVERYTHING”
2. Cramps vs No Cramps
Your mood ultimately oscillates between, “Sex, sex, sex, sex - where are you??” and “I am the most unflattering creature on this planet, I will never ever find love or anyone to have sex with.” This basically depends on whether you are feeling cramped and bloated... or not!
3. “But WHY did you say that??”
Let’s be honest for a moment, girls. This time of the month can unleash the cray, cray. That means all boyfriends, mothers, friends and even strangers better beware because even the slightest remark like, “I’ll be home late tonite” might solicit the PMS monster within to respond in anything but a rational manner!
4. “I’ll have a burger, fries, shake, a piece of cake, some nuggets and a donut please.”
This one’s just plain science - your hunger levels rise by almost 5 times when your period is due...so it’s no wonder that you can basically consume the entire contents of your junk cupboard during this time and still be left feeling hungry!
5. Wax on, wax off...
Getting a bikini wax may as well be going into labour. Everything is way, way more sensitive down there during this time - so it’s one of the worst times of your cycle to go and get a bikini wax! Save yourself the pain and wait until you’re done being down!
6. You may say I’m a dreamer…
Even if you are usually prone to big amounts of day-dreaming, you’ll often find that PMSing only increases it. Suddenly focusing on anything becomes an almost impossible task - this is because the PMS could be messing with your neurotransmitters - meaning that your brain is having to work harder to communicate with your body!
7. “No Tears, Pushpa!”
Crying is the first call of action to anything. Late to work? Cry. Early to work? Cry. Nothing really happened for 10 minutes of your life… Cry!!
8. Are We There Yet?
Waiting for your period may as well be like waiting for Christmas morning to arrive! It’s hardly the present you’ve been dreaming of, but at least this incessant waiting period will be over! Finally.