Growing up can often be confusing because we live in a society which draws very strong (and often, very strange!) lines about who we can like. Despite all the social pressures, the heart is its own thing, and as they say - it listens to no one! But even as the heart follows its calling, we go through all these thoughts about who we are, and who we like - so these are a few things that every girl who has questioned her sexuality at some point will relate to!
1. You often feel really disconnected from “girl talk”
Yeah, even as the girls in the school playground are talking about who the cutest football player is, and who is the yummiest guy on the team, you find your thoughts wandering to the tall girl playing basketball in the other court, and how effortlessly fabulous she looked as she slam-dunked the other day. Just saying. :P
2. Women’s changing rooms leave you in a bit of a mess
Walking into women’s changing rooms always leaves you a teeny bit uncomfortable, as if you’re not really supposed to be there. And everybody acts as if it’s no big deal!
3. Queer love scenes in books and films excite and muddle you
You were pretty blown when you first watched Salma Hayek in Frida (you know why! ;)) And the promos for Vicky Cristina Barcelona, or even Girlfriend had you pretty excited (if only to make you cringe later!). When you found out about Virginia Woolf’s various love affairs, even you did not quite understand why, you felt strangely comforted and grateful!
4. You drool over your favourite female celebrity
Other girls have blown-up pictures of Bollywood heroes or cricket stars, but you have a stash full of carefully culled pictures of Kalki Koechlin in a carefully hidden folder on your comp, or a poster of Dita von Teese for your desktop wallpaper. Don’t deny!
5. You keep pairing your favourite female fictional character with other women
Fan fiction is fertile ground for your imagination, mostly because it allows your brain to do some unconventional pairing. Because why should all the fun be limited to a guy and a girl?...
6. The thought of “experimenting” feels strangely thrilling
Maybe you have had a boyfriend you loved experimenting in bed, and maybe you talked about certain things… And then maybe there were certain things about that conversation which left you really excited. ;) At the same time, you were unable to understand why exactly, and felt slightly weird about yourself. But that’s okay!
7. You cannot help staring when a gorgeous girl walks by
Put a hot chick in the room, and girl! Are you floored! We all are. :P Bonus points if she is smart and witty in her conversation!
8. You want to talk about it to someone, but never quite know how…
You wish you had someone to talk to about how you feel, someone who would just listen without judging you, or dismissing all your feelings as “wrong”. But you never know how to bring it up in a way which would properly convey your feelings. And most times, you feel like there’s nobody who will understand! But don’t worry...none of this is unusual, and you have a whole world of people out there who have lived the same experiences as yours! :)