As nervous and giggly as you are in the days leading up to your marriage, so is your mother. She’s brought you up and taught you practically everything you know, but there are some important life lessons that every mother wants to tell her daughter, one last time, before she gets married and goes away...
1. The first year of your married might be a little difficult.
Marriage is a big step, one that brings in many little changes in your everyday life. And so in the first year of your married life, you will find your husband and you getting used to these changes and moulding yourself to them. After that, your married life will be, comparatively, smooth sailing.
2. Give your in-laws the same respect you would want your husband to give your parents.
Of course your in-laws are a whole new bunch of people, with different habits and ways of living. There may be times when you may not feel ‘at home’ with them. But even in these moments never disrespect them or their customs. You wouldn’t like it if your husband were to disrespect me, right? Rest assured that with time you will start to love them like your own parents.
3. Do not spill family secrets.
You only want to share what’s happening in your life with us, or your siblings or your in-laws. But tread carefully. On both the sides, some things are meant only for your ears. They may be matters financial or familial, but do not discuss them with the other party, especially if you know it’s a sensitive topic.
4. Learn to run your own house!
Not because you now need to do all the domestic chores at your in-laws’ place but because, if the need arises, they should be able to depend upon you as an adult capable of taking the responsibility for these domestic issues.
5. Buy stuff you’ll actually keep for a few years, not just what’s in trend!
So much wasteful expenditure happens during weddings and we only realise this after the wedding. So, pick stuff that’s classic and sturdy, and not just trendy. Trust me, you will have many more occasions to shop after you are married. So don’t hoard up right now.
6. Instead of only focusing on your husband and kids, take time out for yourself too!
That’s what most girls do - give all their time and attention to their family, husband and kids and forget about the hobbies, passions and dreams that they liked. It is important to take time out for these little things that mean so much to you. It’s never wise to lose yourself in the process of forming new relationships.
7. Fall in love. And build a happy life together.
Yes, that’s the beautiful thing about marriage. You can build it the way you want to with your partner. So write your own rules and make your own vows and live the happy life along with your soulmate. And yes, be in love with him and support him through all highs and lows, without fail.
8. You deserve pleasure!
I have to tell you this - sexual compatibility is important in a relationship. So don't be shy about telling your husband what you like. Enjoy yourself and have a great time.
9. Relationships undergo a lot of changes. Accept this.
Priorities change when you get married. But this does not happen overnight. Your besties or your siblings may now compete for time with your in-laws. Do not stress over these changing relationships. Accept these changes gracefully as they come into your life.
10. I am always here.
Come what may, I will always be there for you. If you get tired of acting like an ‘adult’, you can come home and be the kid around your mother. That’s one thing that’s never going to change.