When the “honeymoon period” in your relationship comes to an end, you might suddenly find that resolving fights become a tad more difficult than before. What was previously smooth sailing doesn't seem so smooth anymore - and you seem to unintentionally hurt the one person you love the most. If this sounds like your relationship, here are 10 rules you need to follow...
1. Understand your partner’s needs, and particularly how different they are from yours!
You two may have a lot in common, and yet need entirely different things at any given point. He may need his space and you may feel the need to have him around all the time. Instead of letting your different needs breed a fight, embrace your differences and find a way of working around them.
2. Your partner is not your punching bag - do not treat him like one!
Of course he’s the one you’d go to and vent your life troubles to, but do not let that become a daily thing - where you let your mood swings affect the way you treat him. Remember that a foul mood does not give you the licence to act without thought just because he’s supposed to understand.
3. Be fair in all your fights, arguments and even accusations...
Do not argue for the sake of winning an argument. Your relationship is not a battleground where you need to come out the victor. Let love win by playing fair even when you’re angry. Do not unnecessarily dig into the past to turn tables on him when you know it’s your fault. Accept your mistake, if there is any, and then correct it.
4. Remember that you just can’t agree on everything
How can you? You are two different individuals who think, believe and function differently. You can NOT agree on everything unless of course you’re only seeking to please each other. So it does not make sense to feel hurt if your partner disagrees with you. Understand it for what it truly is - an individual opinion.
5. Pamper your partner the way he’s most receptive to!
There are certain ways you can make your partner feel special. It’s important that you make an effort to make him feel special in the best possible way. While some people need gestures such as a hug to heal, others might feel better by just spending quality time with you.
6. Be there when your partner needs you - even if it’s not convenient for you!
Even if you two are fighting, do not leave your partner alone when he’s going through a particularly difficult time. Be his strength, and show solidarity and support to him, without letting it sound like a favour even for a second. After all, isn’t that what you always promised to do?
7. Don’t weaponize your knowledge about each other!
There is a reason your partner can be vulnerable around you and feel safe doing so. He trusts you to never exploit his weaknesses or use them to your advantage. So, don’t ever use something against him just because you can. These are secrets to be taken to the grave.
8. Do not disrespect people that matter to him.
Being in a relationship does not mean that you two need to like the same bunch of people. It is okay if you are not fond of people he is super friendly with - but you need to keep in mind that disrespecting them is not acceptable. It’ll only hurt him and make him feel like he needs to choose between you and those people all the time - and he may also feel the need to hide things about them from you.
9. Urge your partner to achieve his dreams always.
Because that is the only healthy way to move forward in a relationship. You should support him, encourage him and make him believe in himself when his faith seems to be dwindling. The world will do enough to criticise and pull him down - you need to heal the wounds.
10. Do not believe the “idea” of love and relationships that the world is selling to you!
There are songs that sometimes talk and even glorify the pain, misunderstandings, arguments and violence in a relationship. Don’t take them as the ultimate truth. Your story can be as beautiful and dreamy as you wish it to be - just make the effort to make it happen.