Talking about anything with your partner, without hesitation, should be something that comes to you as second nature. It may be difficult at first, but just knowing that both of you are on the same page towards strengthening your bond should comfort you. If things don’t seem as such, then there may be some relationship red flags that you need to start looking out for…
1. Communication is key
If your guy is a bit of a no-go when it comes to talking about things, then you need to talk him out of it before it leads to a breakdown in communication between the two of you. Gently allow him to come out of his shell - and explain to him that it is important that the two of you know that you’re on the same page. Communicate effectively with one another - it’s important.
2. Trust is essential
Trusting your partner is essential to the longevity and quality of your relationship. If you feel like you can’t trust your guy or he is giving you reason to believe that he is untrustworthy - then you need to address this. Your relationship won’t be able to sustain itself with a dark cloud of mistrust hanging over it.
3. Controlling behaviour...
If your boyfriend has a tendency to be controlling in his nature and this projects itself onto your relationship, then you need to speak up for yourself. You are equal partners in this, and he must understand that. So if you notice him telling you to do things or stopping you from doing things - confront him and do something about it.
4. What do others think?
While the general rule applies that if you like him, it shouldn’t matter what others have to say - it is still worth noting if a lot of your friends or family members have something negative to say about the guy. Like they say, love is blind - so maybe you need someone else’s perspective to be able to see truths that you don’t want to see.
5. Secrets, secrets
If it keeps coming out one after another that your partner has an overwhelming amount of secrets from the past, or things that have been left unresolved, then you need to talk about this. Why has he not let you in? Are these things that affect you? Find out...
Do you change when you are around him? Are you different and not completely yourself? Ask yourself these questions and try and see you how you feel in your gut.
6. What about you?
7. Calling the shots
Who decides what you guys do? Where you guys go? Who you meet? Is it both of you or one of you? Of course, it could be that one of you is more introverted and the other more keen to speak up - but there’s a line between being decisive and dominating.
8. Security vs insecurity
Do you feel secure in your relationship or are you just holding up a facade to avoid a not so nice conversation? Feeling insecure can be perfectly normal, but it is important to talk about it with your partner - and to know that you can in fact talk to your partner about it.
9. Alone time
Just because you are a couple doesn’t mean you should be stripped of your alone time. Some people like more, and some people like less, but it should be up to you to be able to spend some quality time without your partner as well. Psychologically it is also important to understand that you can have a feeling of joy and go about normal life without being heavily dependent on your partner.
Are you able to hang out with your friends? Do you ever hang out with his friends? Essentially, are your friendships being limited? Is he the reason they are being limited? Because if they are and he is the reason behind it, that is another form of control that needs to be confronted. It’s up to you to speak up about things!
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Published on Mar 09, 2016