Dear Mom, I know we seem to have unending arguments over little things these days, and we find it really difficult to agree with each other’s points of view. But I really hope you know that these fights don’t make me love you or need you any less than I did when I was just a baby! And yet, I am not a baby anymore, and want to tell you some things I never have before.
1. I want you to believe in me, and not doubt the decisions I make for myself!
Because when you show faith in my ideas and beliefs, I feel confident. Your trust is what reassures me that I’m doing the right thing - and at this stage in life, where I am just taking my first steps into adulthood, I really need it!
2. I am not trying to be a rebel... Just trying to fit in!
You may feel like I deliberately go against your wishes and do things you’ve especially warned me against - but that’s not true. Most of the times, I am just trying new things because my friends are too! But believe me, I wouldn’t do anything that would let you down. You’ve brought me up well, mom!
3. What you think is abnormal is sometimes quite normal for me!
And it’s neither of our mistakes. Times have changed, and we do have a bit of a generation gap between us. Please try to understand that a few things that actually shock you and leave you perplexed have become the norm for my generation.
4. I do want and need privacy at times, but that does not mean that I don’t want to spend any time with you
I am often going through so many emotions, and there is so much that I am learning every day, that sometimes I just want to be alone with my thoughts. I’m trying to figure some things out on my own. I still want to share what’s going in my life with you, but I might take a little longer in opening up about the new things I’m discovering!
5. My friends are important - and peer pressure is a very real thing.
What my friends and classmates think of me does matter to me. You may not approve of my company, but sometimes I need to learn from my own mistakes - and sometimes, you need to realise that that friend you dislike is not all that bad either.
6. I need you - much more than I say and much more than you can imagine!
My life is changing every day. From physical changes to emotional ones, sometimes it all gets rather overwhelming. I just want you to be there for me - pamper me, love me, and forgive me for my mistakes. Just like you used to when I was a little kid!
7. I have changed. I am not the same as when I was 11 years old!
Sometimes, you act like you know every little thing about my life - and so, your word is the final word. While you may know me very well, I have gotten to know myself pretty well too. I am learning about the things I am and am not okay with. Give me the freedom to think for myself, and make a few decisions about my life on my own. I am no longer the kid who needed to be spoon-fed - although, sometimes, I don’t really mind it either!
8. You can’t treat me like a kid and expect me to act like a grown up all at the same time!
Believe in my ability to be responsible with what I do, mom. If you think it’s fair to ask me not to behave like a kid sometimes, then trust that my decisions will be mature ones too!
9. I crave independence!
I suddenly feel like I can do anything I want and be everything I wish to be. I am a restless bundle of energy who wants to experience everything! And to be honest, when you try to hold me back, I really do feel like someone is trying to clip my wings. Don’t let your fears about me scare you, mom. I’ll be fine!
10. Some things I tell you are for your ears only!
I know you may feel the need to discuss some things I tell you with your friends - but I almost feel cheated in a sense when I tell you something and someone else gets to hear about it too. I want you to keep what I tell you or issues that are related to me to yourself sometimes. It’s between the two of us!
11. Communication is a two-way street - don’t always just try and discipline me, please?