First year of marriage. It’s supposed to be the honeymoon period and the most romantic time for a couple! But thodi bahut nok jhok toh har relationship mein hoti hai. Newly married couples too have their typical set of fights. Here are 6 things newly married couples fight about and how you can avoid them.
1. The in-laws
The most common subject of fights in a new marriage is the in-laws. The girl may not like the treatment meted out to her by her in-laws and the guy may not be okay with the over indulgence of the girl’s parents. There could be just so many things when it comes to dealing with each other’s parents and can often result in nasty fights.
Avoid it: The first step is to respect each other's parents. If you’re living with the in-laws, do remember that they too are in the ‘trying to adjust’ phase and you’ll ‘get’ what you ‘give’. Comparing in-laws to your parents or expecting them to treat you just they way your own mom did will not get you anywhere. Give it some time and do talk out your issues in a calm manner with your husband.
2. The money debate
Marriage is an expensive affair. From setting up your home to everyday groceries, house bills, mini-vacations - taking care of the finances is a challenging task. And money could sometimes come in the way of your happily married life.
Avoid it: When it comes to money, planning is a must. Section out your expenditures - monthly grocery, weekend plans, clothes shopping, house rent, car loan etc. Make budgets and divide the expenditures between the two of you. My husband and I have a simple formula. While he takes care of the big expenses like home loan, electricity bills and monthly groceries, I do the leisure spending. Spa days, movie nights, Saturday night dine outs are taken care of by me. And do save up for the not-so-good days or the big Europe trip!
3. Children: To have or have not!
Everyone has different plans in life. The husband may want a child whereas the wife may not. Or maybe it’s the in-laws who are the more eager ones. Either way, having children is a huge decision and can cause conflict if you’re both not on the same page.
Avoid it: Honestly, you need to have this talk before you even get married. It’s good to know each other's view on the subject. Communication and keeping an open mind for the other person's viewpoint is the only way out.
4. Living together. Oh no!
You’ve had your period of courtship but living together is a totally different thing. Trust me when I say this! You both have different lifestyles. From your sleeping patterns to setting the AC temperature, bathroom habits to liking your food a particular way. The possibilities for a fight are endless!
Avoid it: You’ve got to embrace your partner as he/she is! But, if some habits are bothering you then communication is the key. Ask him about what he dislikes or is uncomfortable with and tell him what bothers you. Both of you need to act like mature individuals and not let these petty issues affect your beautiful relationship. Adjust and try accommodating to your new life with a partner. Give it some time and we bet you’ll not just get used to it but maybe even start enjoying some of his annoying habits!
5. Kaam kaun karega?!
You had your respective mums to take care of everything earlier but now it’s just the two of you. And that should not spell disaster!
Avoid it: Distribute the work and appoint duties. So if one is cooking, the other should be ready to take on laundry. Keep Sunday aside for vegetable shopping and cupboard cleaning. Do it together and you’ll realise that even these small chores and gestures help you bond as a couple. And here’s a little secret! My husband and I have a this cute little pact. Every time I do a task originally assigned to him, he treats me to a foot massage and vice versa. It just makes the whole ordeal a lot more fun!
6. Spending quality time together
Being married loads you with lots of responsibilities and that means you may not get as much time to spend with each other as you once did. Family commitments, household chores and work pressure can leave you with major time constraints. And that’s a building ground for couple fights.
Avoid it: It’s all about prioritising. This golden period of your marriage won’t come back, so make the most of it. While family, friends and office are super important, your relationship is a top priority too. One odd social gathering can be avoided to go out for a romantic dinner with your spouse. Work out your office schedules and do take days off for that long overdue trip to Goa. Take out time for a late night walk or join a fun weekend hobby together. Spending quality time together is ultimately the solution to all your problems!