Why You Shouldn’t Compare YOUR Relationship With Anyone Else’s
Like rom-coms weren’t enough to set our expectations too high, we go about ruining our love lives by making comparisons with other couples who seem even remotely happy. We rarely care if it’s a celeb match or one made in our neighbourhood - as long as someone else has it great, we want it too. Ladies, comparisons can be the death of your relationship, and here’s why you absolutely need to stop comparing your relationship with someone else’s.
1. The grass is always green on the other FB profile!
So what if that couple posts perfect selfies and always seems to be having SO much fun together? You know that our social avatars are usually the shinier, perkier versions of our real life, and they are sometimes quite far away from reality. Drawing comparisons from somebody’s FB profile with your real one is just not fair or, um, wise.
2. You risk giving up being original to become another copy
Don’t we all want to live to tell a love story of our own, unlike any other? How do you think that would turn out if you were to always look at other couples and try to replicate stuff? We are all inherently different, and so making comparisons with each other is just futile, ‘coz life is never going to be the same for us all, and that’s where the fun lies in.
3. You start focusing on what’s “lacking” in your relationship, and that breeds unnecessary dissatisfaction.
When you compare your relationship with someone else’s, it can feel “lacking” because there will always be someone out there, who seems to be in a better place in life than you. Even if you are happy and quite content with your love life, comparing it with someone else’s can force your attention to even minor grievances and leave you wanting something different.
4. You turn a blind eye to all the great things that you have!
You might truly care about your partner, and he may prioritize your needs above his own too, but suddenly when you pitch this against the honeymooners who can’t seem to keep their hands off each other, you risk feeling like you’ve lost the spark in your relationship! Isn’t that unfair to your guy and yourself?
5. You end up wasting a LOT of time and energy!
Drawing comparisons and then sulking about how great someone else has it is not going to change anything in your life - apart from possibly ruining your balance with your partner because of all the negativity. Instead of fighting over what’s not there, doesn’t it make more sense to use all that time to make the person you love feel special?
6. You let another’s happiness affect yours.
You should never let someone’s happiness be the cause of envy in your own life. The green-eyed monster of jealousy often disrupts many a relationship, and you should never let it brew only because someone is happy, especially when you’re going through a slightly rough patch. Relationships are tricky business, and everyone has their share of ups and downs.
7. Your relationship may just be what others envy!
What you have is perfect. Stop making comparisons and looking for flaws where none really exist. No one’s perfect, and if you have a partner who loves you, respects you and puts you above everybody else, you’ve got everything that someone else wants.
8. Bartering what you have to live someone else’s moment is a lost deal. Really.
You may feel a tinge of jealousy when someone’s living a dream moment, where they look perfectly happy and content, but would you really give up everything you have in life to live that dream? No, right? Then you have no reason to compare what you have and with something that you probably don’t really want.
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Published on Feb 5, 2016