My first relationship started in 5th grade. I know, I know. It was a bit early. I get that reaction every time I tell someone about it. But this boy who I had been partnered up with in class confessed that he liked me and, even though I didn't know if I like him that way or not, I agreed to be his girlfriend. He was the coolest guy in my class and I was the first one in my batch to get a boyfriend. So I thought, "Why not?"
And I'm so glad I said yes! Yes, there were some silly fights now that I think about it, but I loved the attention. He was actually really nice to me and quite filmy also. Our friends loved to hear my stories about him and we were kind of the only couple people talked about. It lasted about two years, on and off. We started having more serious fights than silly ones and he transformed into a bit of a delinquent and started doing things I just didn't approve of. Even though it was puppy love, at that time, I really did think we would be together forever. I was naive, of course, and when he started dating one of my (former) best friends, I quickly got over it.
Not completely, though. I missed the attention...the sneaky late night calls, the silly flirtation. By this time I had made friends in other schools and an older guy who had been flirting with me for a while came to our school for an inter-school competition. He was a football player and girls loved football players back in my school! He knew I had broken up with my boyfriend, so he asked me out that day. It caused quite a bit of excitement because their school had actually beaten ours in the match right before this. I said yes, of course. He was cute, older and definitely a catch. What was there to lose?
Well, quite a bit, as it turned out. I got attached to him very quickly and about a month later I thought I was in love. A week after that I found out from my best friend's cousin sister (who went to the same school as him) that he had another girlfriend, who went to his school. They had been dating on and off for a year apparently, and even though they were going through an off patch, everyone knew they would get back together.
So before he could dump me, I broke it off with him. But then I started to feel like I needed to be in another relationship. Either it was to get back at him or just to show him up, I don't know. I just felt like I needed to prove something… Maybe just the fact that there were other guys who genuinely wanted to be with me. So a few days later, I started dating this really smart guy who transferred to our school from Israel.
This kept going on for a few years. By the time I entered college, I had been in 11 relationships. I got my heart broken many more times and the heartache was worse as I grew older because the relationships kept becoming more serious. I stopped dating guys just for the heck of it slowly, but somehow still managed to find someone I genuinely was fond of every time I was single. My friends would always make fun of me - about how I always managed to find nice guys to date, they would ask if I manufactured them secretly. They also cribbed about how I never did any crazy single girl stuff with them. It wasn't like that, though. I just loved being in love, really. Even though the low after breaking up was horrible, the highs when you were crazily in love with someone made it seem worth it. I wasn't like my friends, many of whom had built up walls around themselves and had so many regrets about not giving someone a chance when they should have.
I took every risk and I met some great people who taught me so much about love, even if things didn't work out. I cried endlessly into my pillow some nights, but then I woke up and was ready to meet someone new to laugh with. So, really, you can call me relationship obsessed if you want to. Maybe I am. But I know when I meet the right guy, I'll jump into the relationship with no reservations and no regrets. And for me, that's enough.
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Published on Feb 10, 2016