Having sex for the first time can be nerve wracking. You’re not too sure about what you ought to do, and you’re not entirely sure if your partner does either! Well, we’re here to help. Here are 7 commandments for first time sex that we’re hoping will make your life easier!
1. Think about your safety first!
It may not be the first thing that comes to mind when you think about having sex for the first time. You’re already kind of nervous and want it all to be perfect! But, it’s important to think about safety too. You should know about your partner's recent sexual history - because believe it or not, women actually have a higher risk of getting an STD (sexually transmitted disease) than men. Make sure your partner is wearing a condom, even if you’re on the pill. Safety first, girls!
2. Don’t forget about foreplay!
Have some fun before you take the plunge! All that stuff that leads up to sexual intercourse - the touching, the kissing - will actually make the experience more special.
3. Make sure you’re well aroused before sexual intercourse
First time sex can be painful for some. Not only do you genuinely want to be turned on, but you also need to be well lubricated beforehand - so as to make intercourse less painful! You could also think of using a (store bought) lubricant, just in case!
4. Relax your mind!
Don’t let your mind wander into a territory that makes you nervous and tense. Relax and try and be in the moment - else you’re going to end up not enjoying it at all! Take long deep breaths and just let go!
5. Don’t be afraid to speak up
Don’t be scared to tell him when he needs to stop or carry on. Let him know what you’re liking and what’s making you uncomfortable. He will appreciate your feedback - and it will only help the two of you have a better experience!
6. Don’t assume that he knows it all!
He may have ample information about sex from watching porn or reading about it or even from his buddies! But don’t assume he’s an expert and don’t expect him to be perfect! Even if it isn’t his first time, every sexual encounter is different and unique. So cut him some slack if he isn’t all that you’d imagined he would be in bed!
7. Don’t worry if you don’t have an orgasm... But don’t fake it either!
There is nothing wrong with you if you don’t have an orgasm the very first time you have sex… or even the first few times. Many women take a while after being sexually active to actually enjoy it thoroughly and reach that orgasm. You’ll only be cheating yourself by faking it - because by not letting your partner know that you’re not really there yet, you’re misleading him into believing that this is what will work for you every time. Instead, tell him that you were close and want to work towards getting there with him. It will keep him and you motivated!