Indian weddings are as fun as they are crazy. What makes the whole experience truly complete though is the many kinds of people you meet at a wedding. We’re pretty sure you already get where we are coming from ;) Here’s a list of the most annoying wedding guests you are sure to meet!
1. Pushy aunty
This aunty has no idea what it’s like to be civil. She will just push you when you’re in front of her at the food line (or the dance floor) because, well, she thinks it’s her birthright. Unmindful of her size and her heavy clothes, this aunty is ‘forthright’ in every way!
2. Way-too-drunk uncle
Umm, yes uncle – it is an open bar but that doesn’t mean you have to consume all the alcohol tonight, no? Every wedding has more than one of these uncles! He’s sloshed and can’t hold himself, let alone his drink. But you know what makes it worse? He wants to dance with all the pretty young things! *shudder*
3. Ladke ka dost
You know the typical kind who thinks he’s a Godsend just by the mere virtue of being from the boy’s side? Every second line that leaves his mouth is, “Hum toh ladke waale hain.” Umm, okay, you want an award or something? First grow a personality. And while you’re at it, rub that silly smirk off your face!
4. Dripping in diamonds lady
Now we have no issue with the lady who is wearing too many diamonds. Like none whatsoever. But when those diamonds are accompanied by a bitchy resting face, she instantly becomes annoying. You just know that she’s wearing ‘designer’ from head to toe and judging everyone who isn’t! Get a life lady. And also a stylist. Kthanxbye.
5. The ‘professional’ dancer
Every wedding has that one person who is a better dancer than others. It’s one thing to be a good dancer and rock some moves, but a whole different thing to bust out a complicated routine in the middle of the dance floor. This is not your night! It’s about the couple and all their friends dancing and having a good time. If you want to put up a show, go perform in an auditorium; we will all buy tickets and come watch you. Cool?
6. Matchmaker aunty
This aunty has only one agenda at the wedding and she’s sticking to it! She’s here to make her mark and watches all the young ones with hawk-eyed determination. She can’t bear the thought that you’re 26 and unmarried. She will find you someone – just give her till the end of sangeet night. *Insert eye roll here*
7. Running kids
Wait, do kids count as people? Haha, we jest. You know as well as we do that every wedding has its share of hyperactive children just running all over the place. They are near the cake when it’s being cut, they are falling off the stage, they are stamping on your dupatta and they are making more noise than the DJ. Some of them really do need to come with their own remote control and instruction manual. Okay, we sound horrible now!
8. The photo bomber
You and bae are looking hot AF and can’t wait to get that perfect picture clicked which will make you look royal and elegant, kind of like Saifeena. You already have dreams of putting this up on Instagram and people are saying all sorts of sweet things like ‘goals’. Yeah, this isn’t to materialize because there’s a photo bomber on the loose and suddenly you have horns on your head. Not just that, he’s in more than half the official pictures of the couple too. Not funny, dude. Really-not-funny.
9. Stage-hogger uncle
No uncle, this is not the time for a toast. Put-that-mic-down-now! We want to dance on Chittiyan Kalaiyaan, not use our dainty wrists to drag you off the stage. Besides, to be honest, no one could really understand what you were saying anyway.
10. Horny guy
There’s nothing perceivably wrong with this guy. Okay, he’s a little drunk. So what? Lots of people are a little drunk. But then you realize he’s literally going from girl to girl to try his luck. Eww, that’s tacky! Keep it in your pants bro. This is a wedding, not a charity auction. Get it together already.