Regardless of what movies and TV shows will have you believe, there is no rulebook that says exactly when you should have sex with your guy - that’s totally your choice! Before you do it, though, there may be some questions you may want answered. After all, being intimate with somebody goes beyond the physical act in question, doesn’t it? Here are some questions you might want to ask him before the two of you have sex...
1. What’s your sexual history like?
Find out how many partners he has had in the past. This may be a question that you have to throw casually into a conversation - and not just ask bluntly. You don’t want it to come across as you interrogating him after all. But this is still something you ought to know for the sake of your own sexual health.
2. What’s your relationship with your ex like?
Again, without sounding like you’re trying to pry or get too much information too soon, find out why things ended between him and his ex and what terms they are on now. It will give you further insight into how he views relationships - and also give you clarity into whether or not this is someone you actually see yourself with.
3. Have you ever been tested before?
Knowing a guy’s current or latest STD status is crucial before having sex with him - even if it’s going to be safe sex.
4. Are you comfortable with practising safe sex?
Whether you are on the pill or thinking about practicing barrier methods of contraception - such as condoms - find out what his usual stance is on the topic. This will help you find something that works well for both of you.
5. What sort of sex are you into? What turns you on?
Of course the best way to find the answer to this question is to get into it and try things out - but a heads-up is never a bad thing.
6. What are your expectations?
This question is more of one you should ask yourself. Are you okay with things being casual? Will you expect more after having had sex with the guy? Would you want an exclusive relationship? Preparing and being honest to yourself about these things may save you from heartbreak.
7. Can I depend on you?
While the hope is that if you make the effort to stay safe and use contraception as a rule, you will avoid unwanted pregnancy - the fact of the matter is that you can never be too sure or too safe. Is the person you’re going to be sexually involved with responsible enough and someone you can depend on in case of an unplanned pregnancy?
8. Have you ever cheated on anyone before?
Of course it is unfair to judge him based on his past mistakes - but you ought to know whether it’s a pattern or if it was just a one-time mistake.
9. What’s our status?
Are you going to be exclusive because you’re physically involved with each other? Figure this out before having sex with one another. While we all hope that having sex doesn’t change things, more often than not, it does. Better to be clear from the beginning than left wondering later on.
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