Moving in with in laws doesn’t have to be an ordeal it’s made out to be – if the ‘K serials’ are to be believed. While it may have some challenges, it’s nothing that can’t be handled. Of course, there’s no rule book for this kind of stuff, but there’s always someone older, wiser and more experienced helping you along the way. In this case, it’s us...and yes, you’re welcome! ;)
1. Set expectations
The biggest thing about moving in with in laws is setting the right expectations. They ought to know the truth about you, your habits and your routine – FROM THE START. Trust us, this step alone can take you a long, long way and ensure a peaceful time ahead.
2. Observe everything
Even before you get married, mentally prepare yourself for your new life. Observe your husband’s family and understand how they operate. All parents think they are cool and chilled out. The tricky part is to look beyond what they are saying; and truly observe how they behave.
3. Be yourself
You don’t have to always change to belong. Be yourself. Soon, they too will adapt to your ways and get used to you.
4. Let time play its part
Be patient. His parents are not your parents. They don’t know your every mood and they don’t know when you’ve had a bad day at work. It will take some time for you to get to know them and for them to get to know you!
5. Make an effort
While we expect you to be patient, you should also know that this is going to take some amount of effort on your part. Mingle with your in laws, get to know them, laugh with them, and make plans with them. While their family ways might be out of your comfort zone at first, soon these’ll become second nature to you as well!
6. Stop comparing them to your own parents
Okay, to a certain extent it is natural. But let’s be fair here - your parents raised you and you are their little princess and it’s totally natural to like them more. Your in-laws may be great people, but if you keep comparing them to your own parents...you won’t be able to see the good in them, ever!
7. Voice your thoughts
Look, there’s no manual here. They don’t know you that well to begin with; and they are also trying to include you in every way. Just be a little vocal (but tactfully) about your likes and dislikes. Don’t expect your husband to always handle that for you - it just puts him in a very precarious position. Try and speak for yourself - the less mind reading involved in such situations, the better.
8. Be polite...always
It’s our duty to give you a realistic perspective of things. Sometimes, things will not go your way. Sometimes, you won’t like the course of events. Just remember to never lose your cool with your in laws. Treat them with respect the way you would treat your own parents. You would hate someone being rude with your folks naa? Voicing your opinion is one thing, but always be polite. In that moment of fury, do remember that you were raised to be strong but classy.
9. Let go
Don’t hold on to all the little things your in-laws say and do. Very often, they don’t mean things the way you are probably taking them. So just have an easy-breezy attitude and learn to let go!
Published on Jan 04, 2016