Sometimes, having fights and arguments in your relationship may make you feel like things aren’t really working out. Because that’s not how couples in love are supposed to be, are they? Well, if you too have felt like this, then you should know that even the happiest of couples face these tiny problems. They just find a good way to deal with them! Here are some problems that even couples who are super happy have to face (and overcome)!
1. Time Out!
There comes a point in every relationship when a couple feels like a little break will give them some time to think about their relationship and work on it again. What happy couples understand is that the break they’re looking for is not from their partner, but from the relationship rut. Taking some time apart will actually help them grow as individuals and come back happier and full of more love for each other!
2. Speaking before thinking...
In the heat of the moment, even the calmest of people can end up saying really hurtful things. You may say something super insensitive and mean that you regret immediately after - just like he may something he didn’t really mean either. In both situations, you have to learn to let go. After the moment of anger has passed and you’re both calm, take accountability for what you said and apologise if you were out of line. That’s what happy couples do!
3. Feeling that your partner is not giving you enough attention
It is normal to sometimes feel like you aren’t being as pampered or loved by your partner as you would like. Maybe you need a little bit more than he is being able to give right now or vice versa. And that’s okay. Just as long as you make it a point to tell your partner how you’re feeling - rather than picking small fights and expecting him to read your mind.
4. Not being able to get along with your partner’s friends/ family
There may be that one person he is super close to that you just can’t get yourself to like - no matter how hard you try! It doesn’t mean that he needs to stop hanging out with them or that you need to force yourself to start liking them. All you need to do is, like other happy couples, agree to disagree.
5. Feeling like you two have lost the spark
He might not be as excited about your “monthly anniversary” as he was in the beginning or vice a versa - and this may suddenly make you feel like you’re becoming an old couple...with no excitement left for each other or the relationship. You have to realise that as time passes, every couple has to work towards keeping that spark alive. Of course it means that the both of you have to work just a little harder towards that, but it’s totally worth it! So don’t be afraid to put in that extra effort - even if it means you’re doing a little more than your partner is.
6. Wondering whether you know your partner at all
If you suddenly come across something about your partner's past that you had no idea about - you may wonder if you know him at all. Instead of judging him without knowing what he has to say about it, talk to him and tell him what you’ve heard - and feel free to ask your questions! But don’t let it bother you too much. After all, it’s all in the past, right?
7. Dealing with each other’s mood swings
One is rarely able to vent about the stress at work or college right there and then. It often comes out in the form of many little complaints over a few days at times!. The constant cribbing and complaining may start to weigh you down a little - but you have to understand that these are the times in which your partner actually needs your love more than ever. Let him know you’re there for him and that you’ll help him get through it! And he will do the same for you too.
8. Apologizing just for the sake of ending a fight
There are times when you or your partner may feel like apologizing is an easier solution - rather than getting into a fight and stretching the matter more than you would like. Don’t think of this as him taking you for granted, even if his apology didn’t sound completely sincere to you. Think of it as him actually loving you enough to apologize without any ego, even when he thinks he’s not at fault. That’s a little secret happy couples know and follow - they learn to think positively about each other’s actions.
9. Questioning whether you two really have anything in common
Sometimes, when your partner takes up a new hobby that you absolutely detest, or befriends people who are very unlike his other friends - it may set you wondering if you two really have anything in common at all. Everybody goes through these doubts, but you have to understand that each person grows with age and their tastes and habits may change too. This isn’t something you should fight but rather embrace! It’s only through change that we grow, after all.
10. Making comparisons with your ex!
When things don’t go as smoothly as you’d want them to, or your partner does not act your way, one does sometimes imagine what life would have been like if you had been with someone else - maybe even your ex! It doesn’t mean that you want to leave your partner or are completely unhappy with him, it just means that you are angry - like everybody is at times.
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Published on Jan 13, 2016