#MyStory: He Tried To Control Me All The Time. And Then…
I met this cute guy on Facebook through one of our mutual friends. We started chatting and soon began to really like each other too. This guy was what every teenage girl would want her boyfriend to be: good-looking and charming. One day, he said he loved me… What else could a teenage girl want?!
We started seeing each other, and like any other girl I started dreaming about our future, which obviously included marriage and kids. I can’t believe how naive I was then - I was on cloud nine! I was so excited about the idea of us that I even went to a tarot card reader to find out about the future of my relationship! But the honeymoon period soon came to an end.
Over the weeks, he turned into a control freak. He kept tab on my chats and would fight with me if he found out that I was chatting with my guy friends. Initially I thought it was normal for him to be a bit possessive about me, but he even started having problems with me spending time with my girlfriends and complained about not giving him enough time.
The thing that troubled me the most was that he wouldn’t let me know if he was mad at me. We would talk normally one day and then suddenly he'd stop texting or calling me and then I would have to guess what went wrong. This behavior of his continued for several months… Then he just stopped texting me.
When I didn’t hear from him for weeks, I called him up. He didn't take my call. Then my best friend spoke to him. What she told me was shocking. He actually accused me of flirting with other guys. Here I was trying to work things out in our relationship, and he was questioning my character!
That day, I decided that I'd had enough with this guy. He wanted me to become something that I was not, and I refused to be his version of me… That was the end of my patience and our relationship.
I was heartbroken. I spent a lot of sleepless nights and sometimes would cry myself to sleep. And it took me a long time to get over him. I stopped listening to many songs because they reminded me of him. I would get depressed and at times would question myself about if I had done the right thing.
And one day it dawned upon me that my happiness was not attached to another person… I didn't need anyone else to cheer me up. I decided to take charge of my life and live it to the fullest. My friends and my mother encouraged me to try out new things. My willpower to live a happy life, with self-respect, grew stronger. I wanted to score good marks and make my parents proud. And that's exactly what happened; I was among the top 5 students in our university toppers list in my subject, and I got admission in a reputed college. I had the best of times in my college, found family in friends and did all the things I don’t think I could have thought about had I still been with him.
Then one fine day an amazing guy came into my life. We started as friends and after a couple of months he confessed that he liked me. But I still had commitment issues and found it hard to trust guys, so I couldn’t get into a relationship. For six months I kept struggling with my feelings, and it all became clear when I couldn’t talk to him for a couple of days. The fear of losing him made me realise that I had fallen for him. I guess, love just happens, like you fall asleep…slowly, without you even realising it.
It’s been six months since we have been together and I’ve never been this happy in my life. He showed me what being in love feels like; he showed me what falling in love with someone every single day is all about. He loves me for who I am and encourages me to pursue my dreams and ambitions. We have our share of fights but if you stay determined about travelling the rough road together, you can conquer any hurdle.
Love is not always about happy moments, there will be rough patches as well - and it's these situations that make your relationship stronger. Similarly, when life breaks you down, you gather all the courage you can muster and put your life back on track…only you can be the reason for your happiness. Embrace every aspect of your life, be it good or bad. If things don't seem to be working at this moment, they will be better in the future. Good things come to those who wait. So never compromise on your happiness and always be proud of who you are. :-)
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Published on Jan 18, 2016