Dear younger self, you were such a bundle of energy. I know that you dealt with love the way you deemed best. However, I wish present-day me was there to tell you all these things that this list will tell you.
1. You are still a little too young to be dating, no matter how grown up you feel.
Focus on your studies, listen to your folks and, most importantly, be passionate about something. Join a class. Learn, re-learn everything you can about something, master the art of it. Before you even know it, time will have passed you by. As you grow older, life will somehow creep up on you and get real and hectic. Make the most of what you have now.
2. Some men will pretend to love you.
They will be fiercely protective of you, but this will just be a façade. These very men will break your heart. It will be miserable, hard and devastating, but trust me on this, you are better off without him. With time you will realise that you don’t need him at all.
3. Listen to your best friend: if she says he’s wrong for you, he probably is.
No one knows you and understands you as well as your best friend does. She knows that you only deserve the best and that is why she won’t stop criticizing the men in your life till you’ve found your ideal mate.
4. Always set high standards for yourself.
Do not fall easily for just about anyone. You are a person of great value, you are special and you are important. Always put yourself first - before any guy.
5. It is not necessary that you introduce all your boyfriends to your folks.
In fact, don’t introduce them to your folks at all. Let him make that move first. If he takes you home to meet his folks it means he’s ready to be serious. We live in a “men and women are equal world”, but time has taught me that maybe not everyone lives by the principle.
6. Peer pressure is real.
Do not convince yourself that you are ready for sex if you aren’t. Take as long as you need, there is no shame in being a virgin. If you aren’t ready, you aren’t ready. You don’t need to justify your stance to anyone, not even your boyfriend.
7. This is always true. Some men only want you for sex.
No, they don’t care about you and your feelings, because they care more about their needs and they will use you without any guilt or shame. Be careful of who you choose to love, because it really is a hard, hard world out there.
8. You are good enough.
A very important person in my life told me this recently, when he was questioned about what he would want to say to his younger self. He said: “You are good enough.” I’d like to say the same too - you are a beautiful person, inside and out. There are people who would kill to be like you. You don’t need a better half, or even any half at all. You are complete by yourself and let no one tell you otherwise.
9. Nicholas Sparks and John Green have set unrealistic goals for young lovers.
Most times, love doesn’t turn out as beautiful as you hoped it would. The first date might be awkward beyond repair, the first kiss might be sad and sloppy, the first time you have sex might be painful, with your hands and legs all over the place. What I’m trying to say is: it isn't easy to handle all of this. Little girl, please take your time. Please.
10. Don’t place so much value and importance on someone’s physical appearance.
Just because that attractive guitar-slinging dude (who was famous all over high school) asked you out doesn’t mean you have to be his girlfriend. A brain that functions properly trumps any level of “hotness”. Always choose a smart, kind guy over a “hot” guy.
11. Just because you put in a 100% doesn't mean that your love story will be 100% successful.
He may break your heart, but let this not affect you too much. Things happen for a reason, things end because they had to, no matter how beautiful it may have once been. You can’t control everything - that’s life for you. You really are stronger than you think you are.
12. When one is young, one’s heart is often restless.
If you feel like you can’t commit to someone, come clean. Don’t keep him hanging, don’t cheat on him and giving him the “benefit of doubt” is something you should definitely not do. If you are getting into a relationship, go all in or do nothing at all.
13. If someone cheats on you, never, ever get back with that person.
Not because “once a cheater, always a cheater” but because it will never be a happy, fulfilling relationship. It will just be two people playing a bitter blame game. Know when to let go.
14. No matter what happens later in life, you will find someone who will treat you like a queen.