Maybe I did attach myself too much and too easily to people who didn’t feel as strongly about me.
So here are a few confessions of an overly attached girlfriend...
How it started...
"It's not a characteristic of mine. I'm not always an overly attached girlfriend. I have my moments and looking back even I can say that some of the times I could have totally avoided those situations. But it's just the kind of person I am sometimes and I don't think I need to apologise for it.
"It started way back when I was in school and my boyfriend of 3 months joined the football team. Most of the girls were crazy about football players so obviously I got a bit insecure. Obviously I couldn't stay back for every practice, but many of the other girls who lived close by did. And it really pissed me off when I came to school the next day and they would be gushing about which team had to play shirtless for the second practice because they lost the first game.
"It's not like only I changed. Sure, I did get a bit more possessive and definitely more attached. I made sure he would call me as soon as he reached home after practice. I would sit right next to my landline. Pick it up a million times to check if it was still working if the call didn't come on time. Once he called me half an hour late and we had one of the biggest fights I've ever had till date. He didn't understand why I was acting so ‘crazy’ and I didn't understand why he was making friends with all the groupies that were constantly surrounding him. Things obviously didn't work out. He ended up breaking up with me right after a game actually, when instead of congratulating him, I started cribbing about the cheerleader who had run up to him and hugged him. Eventually, I got over it."
Then it got a LOT worse…
"Things were very different with my second boyfriend. He knew what I was like and he was the jealous kind too, so you can say we just worked well together. We liked each other a lot, but we fought with each a lot more than that. He had a lot of friends and I would constantly be jealous of them. Yes, even the guys. I would constantly crash his plans with his friends all the time… I knew they didn't like me much because of this, but at least I wasn't left wondering what they were all up to while I was sitting at home.
"He also had a point, though. I always wanted to be invited to his plans, but I never let him come for any of mine. I always tried to keep my boyfriend away from my group of friends. Not that I didn't trust my friends… but, well, maybe I actually didn't. And with good reason! They've all dated each other's exes. How could I be sure that something wouldn't happen between one of them and my boyfriend if they happened to become close? I wasn't going to let that happen, no.
"I guess I was also a bit over-enthu when it came to his parents. I had known them for a while before we started dating, so it was natural for me to go greet them whenever I went to his place. But when we started dating, I would go over even when he wasn't there to meet his parents. I would hang out with his mom, go shopping with his little sister. I think they all liked having me around, though sometimes that fact would really annoy my boyfriend… Like when I knew about family dinner plans before he did. And especially when I found out from his mother that his grandfather was, in fact, very much okay and at home and not in the hospital like he had told me. Instead he had gone off with his friends on a trip that he didn't want me to tag along to. It goes without saying that the relationship didn't last too long after that."
And then a bit better…
"I stayed single for a while after that. Just wondering if something was wrong with me and what not. But I finally realized it wasn't me who was inherently overbearing or overly attached. Some guys just managed to bring that out in me. You know, like how some people make you a better person and some people bring out the worst in you? Well, I finally found a guy who complemented me in the right manner. He kept me sane and somehow still managed to drive me crazy...but in a good way.
"I still have my moments, though. They're definitely fewer and further apart, but I occasionally get a bit clingy. But he never lets me feel like it's a bad thing. He's okay with me showering all my attention on him occasionally -just like he does it to me sometimes. If I'm an overly attached girlfriend, then I guess, in the end, I just needed an overly attached boyfriend."
Images: Shutterstock, Tumblr
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Is being overly attached that bad a thing? I used to wonder about this a lot. I always thought it was more about caring too much. But when all my friends also started telling me this (and sometimes just forwarding me the famous overly attached girlfriend memes), I realized that maybe it was just me.
Published on Jan 20, 2016