Dear Fiance, Can We Talk About These Things Before The Shaadi...
RaymanAssistant Editor, POPxo
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You’re engaged! Your functions and outfits are planned to the T. But marriage begins once the wedding is over. If you haven’t already, ask these questions of your fiance. These are 9 things you should absolutely discuss and agree upon before you get married!
1. Tera ghar ya mera ghar?
Are you going to live with his parents, yours or have a separate place? If it’s going to be a unit of two, spend time looking at real estate options and signing the deal before the wedding. Have fun personalising it!
2. No kidding!
Do you both want kids? If yes, then how many and how soon? Whatever you decide (you don;t have to lock this down), make sure you’re on the same page. Also, every aunty you know is about to bug you about this.
3. Moolah matters
You’ll have to figure out whether you want to merge your incomes into a joint account, and figure out a budget that suits your personal and household needs. And if you earn more than he does, you better know where he stands on that!
4. Let’s talk about sex, baby
We’re not just talking about getting yourselves checked for STDs (which, obvs!). Schedule a visit with your doc to figure out contraception, especially if want an intra-uterine device (IUD).
5. Bye, bye bai?
Or not. How are you going to divide the cooking, cleaning, washing and home-maintenance work between you two? Also discuss whether you want to hire a cook, full-time or part-time help.
6. Mama’s boy or daddy’s girl?
Regardless, you need some boundaries with both set of parents. From what to call each other’s parents to how much time you spend with each others’ families. Trust us, the more in sync you are, the easier your life.
7. Who’s paying for the wedding?
This becomes a major source of tension between the families, especially when they’re from different backgrounds. It’s up to both of you to keep things sorted. Do both families split the cost or do you want to keep the expenditures of the groom’s and the bride’s side separate?
8. Office slave or weekend warrior?
How much time do each of you want to give to your careers? Talk about ways to work your marriage and your household around it.