We had been dating for almost three years when high school ended and it was time for both of us to move on to college. Although it was hard, we chose colleges in completely different cities. We were both career driven and wanted to do what we thought was best for both our futures. I was going to be in Delhi while he chose to go to Bangalore. But this, we decided, was not going to change our relationship!
We carried on seeing each other even after we started college. We would speak every night and update each other about the day's happenings and life in general. We were getting even closer as time was passing. Although we didn’t get to see each other almost every day like we did when we were in school, we were talking to each other so much more! And about so much more. We were always close, but I felt as though we were even closer now and longed to see each other more than ever before.
There was nothing we hid from each other. As time passed, we of course made new friends and they all knew about us. My friends knew about him and his friends knew everything about me. He would come as often as he could back to Delhi to see me and all his other friends. Things were going well. Or so I thought.
One day, out of the blue, I could sense him behaving rather strangely and very unlike himself. I asked him several times what had happened and he repeatedly told me that everything was fine and that I was just being paranoid. So I listened to him. After all, he had never lied to me before. And I completely trusted him. He had no reason to lie. So I told myself what he told me and carried on with life as usual.
But as days went by, I felt more and more that he was pulling back and withdrawing himself from our relationship. He began ignoring my calls all too often, giving me the excuse of being busy with college work. At first I tried to believe him, but I knew something just wasn’t right. Even when we spoke he seemed distracted and distant. I was beginning to feel helpless and rather sad.
I knew what was coming next. But when it finally happened, I was shocked simply because of what he told me.
“I think we need to break up because I need to find myself. And I can’t as long as I’m in this relationship.”
I really had no idea what to say do that. If breaking up with me was going to help him find himself, then fine. I wasn’t going to fight for a relationship that had been trivialized by him to this extent. I had had more faith in us and had always thought we could grow as individuals without actually growing apart. I suppose I was wrong.
That wasn’t the only thing I was wrong about, though. Although I was shocked at how he had broken up with me, I had believed the reason he had given me and even made my peace with it. Little did I know that even that was a lie.
Soon after he broke up with me under the pretext of “finding himself”, he came to Delhi and met my best friend at a common friend's party. With his new girlfriend. Yes, that’s right. He had been dating her the whole time in Bangalore and I didn’t have a clue. Some of our common friends had apparently had suspected something, but didn’t tell me because they weren’t sure. So much for “finding himself” haan?!
I’m not sure how cheating on me helped him find himself, but it definitely helped me discover the real him. And thank God for that!
* Names changed to protect privacy.
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Published on Dec 21, 2015