Last March, during my second semester holidays, I joined this app called Tinder. I was awfully unaware of these dating apps until one of my colleagues (I used to work as a part time reporter) suggested I get to know guys and hang out. Well, considering the not-so-glorious 19 years of my love life, I couldn't agree more.
On my second day in the app, I met Vikram. He was cool, smart and by the looks of his display picture, he was hot too! We clicked immediately and exchanged numbers. We texted each other and in a couple of days and he took the casual flirting to a whole new level. Surprisingly, he started sexting and I didn’t mind it. We just texted for two more months and didn’t meet, despite staying in the same city.
In the meanwhile, he brought up the idea of having a fling or a casual relationship. His messages triggered new feelings in me. However, I was apprehensive in the beginning and refused to give in to his idea immediately - at least, until we had met.
And finally, it happened sometime in June. We met. He was cute, funny and really good with words. We kissed…it was my first kiss. That one kiss made me want more and I realised how much I have probably missed out. I have never been one for relationships. Never the girl keen on saving herself for the love of her life, but I had always been preoccupied with other things in life and didn't have time for romance.
My friends never believed that this would work out and one of them even had the audacity to call me a whore. The word got on my nerves and it was hard to take in that your friend of 10 years was judging you.
Sometimes, we might not get support, but we shouldn't stop doing what we want just because of what people are saying. A girl who has a fling is not a whore and a girl who is in a committed relationship isn’t always loyal. I have seen girls who keep switching boyfriends like it’s their hobby - and I don't judge them for it. So why should I be judged for anything I want? It’s okay to have sexual needs and a bed partner as long as you are safe and sure about it.
My affair with Vikram went on for more than 6 months and I really loved it. I had the best time of my life with him and he will always be special to me. In these 6 months, we stuck to what we wanted from each other. Neither of us was looking for anything more and hence we hardly even had casual conversations apart from the ones when we met. It was funny how the guy I could walk around naked with had no clue about my personal interests and vice versa. But, that's what makes a fling sexy, right? The mystery of each other? In fact, it boosted my confidence and made me appreciate myself.
Sadly, the curtain had to be drawn over this casual relationship of ours. We made a mutual decision to bring it to an end because our ideas about some things in life were just not the same, which led to a few ego conflicts.
Nevertheless, it was the best summer romance (it is always summer in Chennai) I could've ever asked for. He brought some clarity in my life. I thought so much before plunging into it, which helped me draw a few conclusions about what I really want for myself. I don't want to tread the same path again, but I now know which Road I do want to travel. When the time comes and when I am actually prepared, I would go for a real relationship. Until then, I will cherish the one “mistake” I will never regret having made.
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Published on Dec 10, 2015