There is so much said about virgins and losing your virginity that it can all be pretty damn overwhelming and confusing. When should you lose it, how you should lose it, how it should feel like and all that. But in all actuality, losing it can be a different experience for everybody. Whether you’re holding onto your V-card or not, you definitely need to know the truth behind these common virginity myths. It’ll help you see things in a much clearer light.
Myth #1: You’re A Virgin Only If Your Hymen Is Intact
The hymen is just a thin tissue membrane situated at the opening of the vagina, it’s really not as exciting as the way it’s talked about. It’s super delicate and can tear at a young age thanks to any kind of sport or physical activity. So all that talk about “cherry popping” is basically rubbish and also kind of sexist. Guys can be virgins too even if they don’t have a hymen.
Myth #2: Virginity Is Easily Definable
It’s someone who hasn’t had sex yet, duh! That’s the most common way of putting it - but that definition is wrong on so many levels. That basically means sexual intercourse, but what about oral sex? Or fingering and masturbation? And what if you’re homosexual? People have different definitions of sex. The truth is that virginity isn’t even an actual thing, it’s just an idea or a concept. You lose it when you think you do.
Myth #3: The First Time You Have Sex It’s Super Painful and You Will Bleed A Lot!
Since your hymen could have stretched or torn before your first sexual experience, it’s not necessary that you will bleed after your first time. You could bleed a lot, a little or not at all – anything is normal. Also, some women have a thicker hymen while some don’t have one at all, which means varying degrees of pain while having sex. It could hurt for some and for others it could just be a few seconds of discomfort. Sometimes the pain can be not related to your hymen at all. It could just be because of lack of lubrication.
Myth #4: You’re Not A Virgin If You Use Tampons
This is such a common school of thought in India and probably people never encourage you to try tampons. A tampon could maybe stretch your hymen, but it has really nothing to do with your virginity.
Myth #5: You’re A Different Person After This Life-Changing Experience
Blame it on American teen movies like American Pie or just common peer pressure, but it’s made to seem like losing your V-card is like this monumental experience that will make you a changed woman. In reality, you’ll wake up feeling exactly the same as you always did, albeit a little sore down there. You’re always going to remember your first time of course, but it’s not this big rite of passage that it’s hyped up to be - and that’s okay.
Myth #6: It’s Weird If You’re Still A Virgin At A Certain Age
Do not fall victim to peer pressure and feel like you have to have sex just because you’re 22 and all your friends have already done it. There’s nothing wrong or uncool about being a virgin. What’s uncool is to have sex when you’re not ready or with someone you didn’t really want to do it with. You don’t want to have regrets about it for the rest of your life, right? Screw what others say, it’s what you’re comfortable with that matters, and that can be when you’re 18 or 28 or 38 – it’s your life and it’s up to you.
Myth #7: Being A Virgin Is “Pure”
Arghh! Who comes up with these things? If sex helps reproduce and basically makes you a vessel for new life, how can doing it make you impure? Even if you’re doing it for pleasure and not to reproduce, so is the rest of the world. Does that make 95% of humans impure? If only as much thought was given to more dire things in the world as female virginity, it would be a much better place!