There are plenty of times we tell you ladies what works and what doesn’t in the bedroom, and what good sex etiquette is - especially when it comes to what’s acceptable from our partners! But keep in mind that this goes both ways, and there are certain things that your guy might be uncomfortable with too! Because he might just not be ready for it. And just to keep things happy in the bedroom, we tell you the 3 things that you should NEVER do to your guy without checking with him first. Read on! ;-)
1. Using your teeth
No, we don’t mean that gentle nibbling or even the little nips he seems to enjoy. We mean full-fledged use of your teeth on his sensitive bits - without checking with him first whether that’s a direction he wants to go. Trust us, if you surprise him with a scrape of your teeth, his instinctive reaction is going to be less along the lines of feeling excited and more along the lines of “Is she trying to bite my penis off?!” Some people do enjoy being bitten (to varying extents) - but use conversation to find out beforehand whether he is one of them! Else you might actually scare the arousal out of him.
2. Unleashing power play
We’re not talking about full-on BDSM here - which, as you well know, is not really everyone’s cup of tea, even if they secretly enjoyed 50 Shades Of Grey. Even when it comes to something relatively mild such as spanking, it’s always best to check in advance! Although we haven’t really met many men for whom something like this is a no-go area, it can come as a bit of a shocker if this has never been discussed before and you turn around and do it/ ask him to do it to you while you are in the middle of things. Sexting him something kinky is a good way to indicate to him that you’re willing to spice things up a bit, and also figuring out what his comfort limits are.
3. Exploring, uh, forbidden territory
No matter what most “helpful” articles in magazines say about how men are excited by having their butt explored, DO NOT do this without checking well in advance whether he’s comfortable with it - or even interested. Sure, the male prostate is, physiologically speaking, a mass of nerve endings and potentially a source of great pleasure, but please understand that plenty of men are extremely uncomfortable with the idea of butt play - just like plenty of women are. So, even if you feel very interested in exploring this aspect of sex with your partner, do not go there unless he invites you to go there. This is such a deep-rooted psychological bias that trying without talking means risking not just turning him off in that instant but also repulsing him altogether for having done something terribly invasive that he wasn’t prepared for.
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Published on Nov 20, 2015