Last year in July, I met him for first time. For next 7 months we were in same batch in an institute. He was really a shy, sincere student and also appealing in his looks! And I was the one who was popular among everyone at the institute for my studies and outspoken nature. We never had any personal interaction, though.
It was 1.5 months to go for our final exams when we started chatting. After the exams ended, we had a vacation for 2 months - we exchanged numbers and it was going pretty well. I was really enjoying the time I spent talking with him because it was the first time I had ever liked a guy in my 19 years.
One day, a friend told me that she had a crush on him. I found it absurd (developing a crush on someone after 10 months of knowing him?!). When I told him about my friend's crush, though, he said he wanted some time to get to know her well.
Still, he and I kept talking for whole nights. Part way through our vacation, he went out of town on a holiday. When he returned, he said he’d missed our conversations and asked me to stay awake through the night as he wanted to share his experience of holiday with me. And the stuff he shared...it touched my heart.
I could sense that my friend was getting insecure about our interactions. So I decided to step back. For two days, I didn't text him. And then he messaged me: “What do you think you’re doing? You may disappear at any point of time, but I know the reason behind it. You are doing it for your friend... But even WE both are friends!"
I was surprised by how well he understood me. I tried to stay away for the sake of my friend, but I couldn't stop myself from talking with him. I felt I was cheating on my friend, on the one hand; on the other hand, I loved being with him. And I enjoyed the flirtatious nature of our conversations.
In another month, he turned down my friend when she confessed her feelings to him, saying that he wanted to focus only on his career. To my surprise, my friend got over him very easily - she bitched about him to me, and then she started going out with other guys.
I stopped talking to everyone for a week. I was too restless... I didn't know what to do... I knew I was in love with him, but confessing it was not good idea. He had turned down my friend, saying he wanted to focus on his career - so telling him about my feelings would definitely make him question his friendship with me too.
But how to get rid of that restlessness? My other friends told me to just confess my feelings to get done with it. I did that. I told him: “I don't expect anything from you. It's just a confession to lighten my mind.”
After that conversation, we kept on talking for a month. He was talking even more comfortably, and he was flirting with me very openly. We both were having great time.
Or that’s what I thought.
Because, suddenly, one day, he stopped talking to me. I received no message from him for a week. I tried to initiate conversations, but I could sense that he was not interested in talking. I thought of giving him some time. I didn’t know what to do. Except me, he was happily talking to everyone, even with my friend who’d had a crush on him.
During this time, I truly realized my love for him. I kept missing him all the time. But still I got no response from him to my calls and messages.
It's now been two months that we have not talked. But he is still special to me. And though I am sad, I am neither angry nor do I accuse him of bad behaviour. The memories with him still make me smile. Every day I miss him, and I also wish him all the success and happiness he deserves.
I believe this is the flavour of true love - that you have no place for anger or grudges in heart. And this is not the END - life will definitely surprise me ahead!
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Published on Nov 12, 2015