I met Karan in school. We became friends, and he was always there when I wanted to do something fun. We used to hang out together even after school, along with our best friend, Ananya.
However, as the years passed, and we began to focus more on our studies, we stopped spending so much time together. Eventually, I was seldom in contact with him.
But destiny wouldn't let us part ways completely. It had something else in store for us. A major fight with Ananya led to Karan coming back into my life again. And while Ananya and I no longer spoke, because of the fact that Karan took my side and supported me, he and I became best friends. He was there for me when I needed him the most - and I was determined to be there for him too.
We started talking daily, sharing our feelings and the smallest details about our days. He was my first best 'guy' friend, someone whom I could trust with my heart and my life.
More time passed, and we graduated from school and got into college. And still our intimacy grew - we just had so much to talk about all the time! Things were going absolutely smoothly, until the day he told me about his plan of going to Singapore for a college programme for 2 months.
We were both excited for his trip…but slowly I began to feel anxious about it. I hated the feeling that he would not be around the corner from me any more.
Days were passing by like the blink of an eye. Finally he said to me one day, “My flight has been confirmed.” I can't describe the shock I felt at that moment. I couldn't feel the ground below my feet.
I remember my friend Mehak saying to me one day, "Some people come as a blessing into your life…and you should never let them go!”
He met me that day to drop me from college to my home, and we were discussing his plans for the trip… And that made me realise that I really didn't want him to go.
Later that night the discussions turned into heated arguments over the phone.
Amidst all my crying and confusion about what was it that I wanted, he said, “If all this is making you sad, then I’m not going". And then my heart skipped a beat when I heard him saying, "I love you.”
My throat was suddenly dry as I had no idea what to say. I didn't think I loved him, but then I didn't want to hurt him. I didn't want to ruin our friendship of years by falling in love with my best friend.
As I was about to say no to him and convince him that we could only be good friends, he said "I will accept whatever your decision is, but remember if you say yes I am here to stay forever. But if it’s a no, I will not be able to stay - and will go away from your life." He wanted his answer then and there.
In the silence that followed, I remembered the words of my friend - and I knew for certain that I could not let him go. Ever.
I couldn't say no. Although I believed I didn't love him, a yes came almost as a whisper from my lips - and I could hear his joy over the phone.
The day arrived when he had to leave for Singapore, and I couldn't stop crying, not knowing what it would actually mean for us, for the future of our relationship.
Distance brought us even closer.
It was when he was away from me - when I couldn’t see him every day, when I couldn’t hug him whenever I wanted - that realisation dawned upon me that I DID love him. More than he loved me. In fact, I had loved him all the way long, but had never been willing to accept it because I was afraid of ruining our friendship.
And today I'm so happy. We are both happy. Our love for each other grows with each passing day. Now I too can say that a girl and a boy can never be just best friends. :P
Life is a beautiful journey to cherish, you just have to give it a chance. I do not know what future holds for us. All I know is: I am his and he is mine. Forever.
* Names changed to protect privacy.
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Published on Nov 09, 2015