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Why Sex Hurts Sometimes - And How To Deal With It!


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Sounds in your bedroom turning from ‘ooh’ and ‘aah’ to ‘ouch’ and ‘argh’?! If you are experiencing pain during sex on more than one occasion, you aren’t alone. Sexual pain is common amongst most women, but many of us dismiss it as a ‘fragment of our imagination’, and feel embarrassed to question it. So here are 10 reasons you might be suffering from sexual pain and how you can deal with it, in each situation...

1. Vaginal area feels rubbed raw and chafed

Reason: You’re might be having too much sex!

Solution: Too much of a good thing can hurt too. To ease the rawness down there, wear loose clothes and keep your vaginal area dry for a few days (read no sex for you, for a little while), till the soreness abates. Also, consider using a lubricant when you’re having intercourse to avoid dryness and chafing.

2. Dry, dry, dry!

Reason: Stress, meds or hormonal changes post childbirth or the onset of menopause can lead to vaginal dryness, and cause you to wince during penetration.

Solution: You can make use of various lotions and creams to lubricate your vagina, after consulting your gynae. Along with this, you must bring in lifestyle changes and try to relax a bit. Also next time when you do it, take longer over foreplay and take pleasure in the act, making sure that you’re sufficiently aroused and wet before you engage in penetration.

3. Your vagina itches and stings, and there’s a discharge

Reason: Infections. They may vary from yeast and bacterial infections to STDs.

Solution: The kind and type of discharge can clue you in the kind of infection you have. Yeast infections result in thick, white discharge, while bacterial infections are usually grayish to greenish, with an odor. You must get yourself checked out by a doctor, who’ll prescribe adequate medication to you accordingly.

painful sex

4. Burning and irritation on your labia (outer lips of your vaginal opening)

Reason: It may happen due to a bad reaction from any of your personal care range of products - anything from soap, massage oils to body showers.

Solution: Leave the area alone from all external intrusions, till the irritation subsides. Do not dab on more cream, it will only cause the inflammation to worsen. Also swap your personal care products with something suggested by your doctor.

5. You experience pain only when your partner thrusts deep

Reason: You probably have a tipped uterus

Solution: A tipped or tilted uterus does not have any health or pregnancy complications, so there is no need to worry if you have one. However, it can cause crazy pain during deep penetration. The only solution to this problem is either you ask your partner to not thrust too deeply ,or you get on top of him during the act and control the depth of penetration. Experiment with different positions until you find one that is most comfortable.

6. Penetration is not only painful, it feels downright impossible

Reason: Your vagina may be super tight, due to a condition called Vaginismus.

Solution: If you find penetration impossible, do not blow it off as anxiety or stress. Vaginismus causes the vagina to shut tight and makes penetration impossible. In this case, you need to consult a professional and follow up on his or her advice.

painful sex

7. The vaginal area feels extra sensitive after childbirth

Reason: Changes brought about in your body during the act of childbirth

Solution: During childbirth, sometimes doctors slice the perineum (area between the vulva and anus) to ease the baby out. This procedure, called the episiotomy may be the cause of your pain, and should always be professionally checked. Apart from this, even during menopause, your vagina may become extra sensitive and may lack lubrication. However, these troubles can be easily combated with professional consultation and proper medication.

8. Stabbing pain in the sides, mid-thrust

Reason: Ovarian Cysts. A mere rub or touch on the fluid filled cysts on the ovary, during the sexual act can cause a lot of pain.

Solution: When we’re young, a vast majority of our cysts are cyclical in nature and tend to disappear on their own. However if the pain persists with age, you should have yourself checked out by your gynae.

9. Sharp pangs of pain higher in the vaginal area, along with mid-cycle bleeding and heavier periods

Reason: Uterus fibroids. These are rubbery, stalk-like growth in the uterus that may jut against the vagina and cause severe pain when your partner thrusts against it during penetration.

Solution: Sometimes, the fibroids disappear or shrink on their own. But if they are causing pain and damaging your sex life, you should consult your doctor about getting them surgically removed.

painful sex

10. General pain anywhere in the vagina

Reason: Endometriosis. It is the condition where endometrial tissue migrates outside the uterus and acts like a sticky glue on different organs, like ovaries or fallopian tubes, and fixes them in place. This causes lack of flexibility, which in turn causes pain during sex.

Solution: If you are diagnosed with Endometriosis, you can either taken medication to keep the tissue growth under control, or can have it surgically removed, as directed by your doctor.

Images: Shutterstock

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