I met him in the most traditional (read boring) way possible. Our parents came to know about each other via some common friends, talked and a “meeting” was set up. I wasn't super excited about it, but I couldn't say no as there was literally nothing about the boy that I could downright reject - at least, from what my parents told me about him.
The first time I met him, it wasn’t formal or awkward as I thought it would be. His folks were extremely sweet people, super chilled out, highly educated and most importantly they seemed to be genuinely nice. The boy was interesting and fun to talk to. By the end of it, we exchanged numbers and started talking the same night.
We continuously WhatsApped. Talked about everything under the sun, from India's economic policies to Comedy Nights With Kapil. Within a week of exchanging messages, he asked me out on a date. A play and then dinner. The minute I sat in his car, I liked him. Being too practical and borderline cynical, I never imagined that I would be one of those who fall “head over heels” for someone they barely know. Little did I know that soon this would be me.
That first date, we ended up spending over seven hours with each other. We talked and talked and talked. It was amazing. He was bright, intelligent and super funny. With his background and career choice as a consultant, I’d thought he would be a nerd. He was anything but that. He had even done a course in bartending (OMG, how hot is that?!). He was a complete gentleman, opening doors for you, asking if the car temperature was okay for you, pulling chairs for you... Yes, I fell for him. Head over heels. In a day.
We started meeting almost every weekend after that, spending more and more time with each and endlessly messaging each other. I was completely smitten. However, neither of us wanted to jump into any kind of formal commitment without knowing each other more. We discussed how we felt about each other, we discussed our future and that we wanted to be in it together, but still decided that we wanted to spend more time getting to know each other before “formalizing” the whole thing.
It was just perfect. He was perfect. We were perfect. We barely ever fought. If I was upset about something, he would be all grown-up about and talk about it. The consultant in him really liked problem solving. If had to do a write up and list the qualities of my “McDreamy”, I would probably just end up writing his bio.
And then, out of nowhere, things started falling apart. It was totally random. There were a few minor issues, but nothing major. He went on a trip and we didn't talk the whole time. The first time in months - and even I didn't reach out to him. When he came back, something was broken between us. It wasn’t the same. And then, just like that, we got on a call and decided to not take things forward. Again, like grown-ups. This was all too grown-up for me, though. That’s when I completely broke down.
No, I wasn't going to call him or message him or stalk him on Facebook. That just wasn't me. But the utter confusion and turmoil of the situation was too much to take. I spent nights crying. I ran our last few conversations in a loop in my head. I kept going back to what the hell happened. The more I thought about it, the more questions I had. I kept obsessing over the could-have-beens. I kept building scenarios in my head.
After weeks of doing this, I thought to myself, “How is this helping anyone?” What had happened, had happened. He was gone. That chapter was over. Listening to senti songs and the binge dessert eating had to stop.
Sometimes in life, we don't have answers to the chaos in our life. Yeah, he was perfect for me and everything that I ever wanted. I was sure he was the one I was going to end up with. But maybe that was all...theoretical. I had some thoughts about a partner in my mind, and he checked every box, and that was that. We were perfect - on paper.
I am not over him yet, but in time I will be. No, I haven’t become cynical enough to give up on love. Tomorrow if my parents want me to meet someone new, I’m not going to throw this incident at them. If the person is wonderful, I will meet him with a positive frame of mind. One has to move on, and maybe this was a lesson learnt. Because the only thing we can do is be hopeful, always. I'm sure awesome things are coming my way soon, and you might read another #MyStory about how I did eventually find my Mr Right. :-)
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Published on Oct 26, 2015