I decided to make a change. I was determined to let go of my past for real, and push myself back into the dating game. That’s when I downloaded Tinder. My motive was not find love or find a rebound. It was just to keep me distracted. Every time I swiped right and left, I would subconsciously compare them to my ex. I was desperate to find someone better than him. With no luck at all on this app, I decided to delete it. Before I was about to, I got a buzz from a guy named Kunal. I zoomed into his profile picture, and he looked adorable. He had curly hair, nice lips and had a very well-written bio. I found that attractive and wanted to know more about him. Our first conversation went really smoothly. I got to know that he loved to travel, admired intelligent minds and worked as a graphic designer at a startup in Andheri. I decided to stay on Tinder after our chat. We used to text every day and every few hours. This constant conversation gave me the feeling of being in a relationship all over again.
One fine day, he asked me to meet him. I actually got goosebumps after reading that! I mean, I’d NEVER been on a date with someone I didn’t know personally. I wanted to reject his request, but at the back of my mind I wanted to move on from the ex too. I asked him to fix a date and share his number with me. All he did was say: “Meet me at Carter Road in Bandra at 7 pm tomorrow. Please don’t be late!”
The next day, I woke up feeling fresh. I was excited and nervous at the same time to meet him. After I got done with work, I left for home to freshen up. I wore my best outfit and rushed to reach there on time. I reached Carter’s at around 6:50 pm and gave him a ring. This was the first time I heard his voice for real! His tone was soft and had a tiny bit of a foreign accent. He told me he’d be reaching in 5 minutes.
In those five minutes, millions of thoughts were running through my mind. “What’s he going to be like?” “Is this going to be awkward?” “Will he like me or think I’m complete weirdo?” Ten minutes went by, and still no sight of him. Just when I was about to give him a ring again, someone from the back caught hold of me and gave me a long, tight hug. It was Kunal!
He looked so perfect and apologized for being late. I couldn’t take my eyes off him, and so couldn’t he off me. There was instant chemistry that sparked off. I asked him what he wanted to do and he pointed to the CCD opposite the road. I asked, “Coffee?”, he nodded!
Over coffee we spoke about our pasts, our professions, our mutual love for orange soda and even spoke about the universe! Our conversation was deep, and that’s the time I felt mentally connected to him. He also cracked some funny jokes that me laugh like a little child high on candy. In those 2 hours of our coffee date, I had completely forgotten about my ex. For a change, someone was being nice to me. Romantic or not, I enjoyed his company. I understood that no matter how much your ex meant to you, there’s always someone better waiting to meet you.
After that date, we’ve been meeting up pretty often and going out for dinners and movies. It’s been 7 months now, and I think I’m starting to develop feelings for him. Just a couple of days ago, he asked me to be his girlfriend. In all honesty, I’m a little nervous. I have been ignoring the proposal topic again and again. I’m still internally contemplating whether I should say yes or no to getting romantically involved with him. What do I do? Take a risk? Or regret it after a couple of months for taking that risk? I’m so confused!
*Names changed to protect privacy.
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To be honest, after going through an ugly breakup, I had given up on love. The impact had emotionally crushed me to the extent that I couldn’t really imagine seeing myself with someone else. In my spare time, I would check my ex’s WhatsApp display picture, Instagram updates and see what’s he’d been up to on Facebook. This had become a sickening obsession for me. I couldn’t help but want to know how he was dealing with life without me being in the picture. To my surprise, he handled it pretty well. At least his posts on FB said so. After getting to know from his friends that he had moved on and there was also someone new in his life, I just knew I had to snap out of it too.
Published on Oct 29, 2015