#MyStory: I Keep Falling In And Out Of Love - And That’s Okay!

#MyStory: I Keep Falling In And Out Of Love - And That’s Okay!
The first time I fell in love was when I was in class 5. He used to be the coolest kid in the class. Everybody loved him, everybody wanted to be friends with him. I would see him and smile and my stomach would go all crazy with those butterflies every time he crossed my way. I obviously didn’t ever tell him what I felt, but I know it was love.

Years passed by and I kept finding something magical in this feeling. During senior school years when everyone was trying to figure out the “boyfriend” scene, I was busy falling for someone I couldn’t have. I used to steal that one look at the guy and be content with that. Don’t get me wrong! I totally enjoyed the attention I got from the opposite sex but I was still not able to find “the” person.

In college, especially ‘cos I went to an all girls one, the chances of finding the ideal person was becoming bleak. I had a huge huge crush on this guy - and the first time when I did decide to tell someone what I felt, I was given a lot of grief because he was someone else’s boyfriend. Stupid me, I didn't know it was not even right for me to tell someone how I felt!

Then towards the end of college, I found love in a dear friend. I believe that I was in love with him because of the way I would smile when he would appear in front of me! I would blush like a little child when he was around and then of course there were all those jittery feelings in my stomach too! We had some glorious years together and we literally grew up together, spending most of our time with each other. We had become inseparable and I was convinced that he was the one! Until things started moving south, and the love I felt for him slowly started turning into unhappiness. I still loved him, but there was too much of a negative space for the love to breed. It was difficult for me to accept that I had to let go of this relationship but I realized that there would something better for me out there, so I took that step! God knows how difficult it was, but even if I didn't know what I wanted, I definitely knew what I didn't want!

After convincing myself that I still had a chance, I moved on in life!

It was not too long after that when I found this person who literally made it so easy for me to fall in love with! The way he would make me laugh, take care of me. It was all so smooth. This time around, I realised that I might have actually found my forever after person because I was more myself than before, without any life-changing compromises! He was someone whom I wasn't just romantically in love with but someone whom I could spend the rest of my life with! Someone who really wanted me and would do absolutely anything to make me smile! This transcendental feeling was so overwhelming, I pretty much could not help myself but fall for him deeper and deeper.

In love with love

Through all those years, when I would tingle at the thought of being in love, I always felt this unfathomable feeling that would draw me to that person and I wondered what was happening to me. But from keeping it a secret inside of me in the beginning to finally telling the person what I feel, the sphere of falling in love has actually changed a lot! The only one thing that remains constant is that this beautiful emotion comes from within.

We fall in love with someone not because of that person but because of the power within us to love ourselves and the eagerness to share that love with another person. And every time you feel something special towards a person, remember it’s actually you and you can feel this greatness of love as many times and for as many people as you want! You have to give to receive! Only when two similar energies collide do you find your match! Until then, keep falling in love and be happy in that reverie!

Like Elvis Presley said, "Wise men say only fools rush in, but I can't help falling in love with you!" Love is incomprehensible, but only if you take that plunge will you understand what happiness it can bring! I am not afraid to fall in love again and again, even though there is chance I might end up with a broken heart! But really, love is so powerful that it will heal your injured heart too. You’ve just got to give it that fair chance!

The last time I fell in love, I cried in happiness because after my previous break-up my faith in love had been shattered! But when I realized that it was “love” again, I couldn’t hold it in. I had to scream out to the world that I had received this magnificent gift again!

Every day is as beautiful as it can be and I fall more and more in love with this feeling (and the man, of course!) - with every sunset and every sunrise! It’s only because I feel love. :-)

Image: Shutterstock

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