How To Tell Your Parents “This Is The Guy I Want To Marry”
Smriti NotaniGuest Contributor
now on POPxo
Join in! (Girls only) >
You have found “the one”? Congratulations! That’s awesome news. But wait! Have you told the parents? Ahh! That’s really the big question, isn’t it? You are quite unsure of that giddy feeling is from love or the nervousness of breaking it to your folks! We’ve been there, girl, and as usual, we’ve got your back! Just breathe easy and follow these tips - and don’t forget to call us to the wedding. ;)
1. Don’t blindly follow your friends!
So you have an experienced friend who knows what it’s like to be in your shoes? Cool! But that doesn’t mean you follow everything she did, because each set of parents is different! Your folks could be way cooler or way more orthodox than your friend’s folks, so keep that in mind.
2. Don’t go all rebellious!
We know how you feel – you are in love and have decided who you want to spend your life with, and that’s that! But don’t approach your parents in a rebellious manner. You are an adult, not a 16-year-old who wants to get a tattoo. Just stay calm and keep adult mode on!
3. Make them meet him first
In case your folks have never met the love of your life, make sure they do so before you break it to them. They shouldn’t feel like you are making a hasty decision just because they’ve never met this person in your life (who you incidentally want to marry!). Arrange for him to come over before that (maybe as part of a group), but make sure he’s a known face.
4. In case they are conservative...
In case your folks will never encourage you to have boys over, then making them meet the boy would be a little challenging. In this case, you must at least start mentioning him at dinner table conversations. The idea is to start dropping hints that there’s something going on that you would like to talk about!
5. Have “the talk” with them!
Like we said, the key thing here is to start sending out feelers. Don’t just bring him to your doorstep one day and announce that you are going to marry him. While that seems totally appropriate in a Bollywood movie, there’s every chance your parents will hate the idea of this being thrust upon them like that. The better way of going about it is to confess to them that you have feelings for this guy and you’d love for them to meet him.
6. All about “the talk”
Please think beforehand what you want to tell them via this talk. Even though you may feel very giggly and nervous, we suggest you seem cool, calm and confident while having this talk with your parents. You need to inspire confidence in them, right? So tell them why exactly you think he’s the right match for you and all about his background! They will feel good to know that you’ve really thought it through and are being practical and level-headed about the whole thing.
7. Make them feel involved
Even if you are a 100% sure of this guy and you know you want to marry him, ask your parents what they think! They will feel so touched by your gesture, we are pretty certain they’ll take the news really well. It’s just a really nice way of making them feel involved! After all, our parents just want us to be happy, remember?
8. Convince them till they agree!
You know what they say: all the good things in life are totally worth fighting for! So even if it’s not as simple as just informing them and they need to be convinced, take the time to do it. If they need to be told about all his achievements and his stellar academic record, then you must do that too. Don’t get impatient and upset that they are asking for credentials. Place yourself in their shoes - come on, you totally know you would do it too if it came to your kids!
9. Who’s the more chilled out one?
Let’s face it, guys: in every set of parents, one is at least a little more chilled out than the other! Just identify which one is going to be more easy-going and excited about your big news and approach them first. They will handle the other parent and it might just make the whole process so much simpler!
10. Chai pe bulana!
Just to get your foot in the door and get the marriage conversation started, suggest that they at least meet him and his family. We are quite certain that the toughest of parents warm up after they see the guy and meet the family (even if there are different religions or communities involved). We are all human at the end of the day, no? So as filmy and funny as it may seem., perfect your chai-carrying skills and order those samosas. Because just before the auspicious wedding bells can ring, some tea must be had by all!