Welcome to #AskPOPxo. This is a section dedicated to our readers’ questions – anything that’s on your mind and that you’d like advice on!
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Today’s Question: “My colleague is super competitive and secretive. Should we be friends?”
I have a great relationship with a colleague at work but at times she can get very competitive. While I am very honest about my work with her, she tends to be secretive at times. Should we still be friends?
Answer from the POPxo Team
Dear X,
Making friends at work is important. You do spend most of your day there and not having anyone to talk to all day long, take breaks with or just someone you get along with can be hard.
However, it is important to understand that some people have very clearly defined lines as far as work and friendship go. Is it possible that your colleague is one of them? Maybe she is a friend when you’re hanging out and having fun, but when it comes to her work, she could be very competitive.
This is not necessarily a bad thing. Being slightly competitive is good. It pushes you harder and makes you want to achieve more. However, if you feel that she is being extremely secretive and going behind your back to do things to seem like the harder worker, that is wrong. You could talk to her if you are comfortable enough. If not, observe for a while and notice if she is simply competitive or being outright secretive and keeping you out of the loop on purpose. If that is the case, then maintain a slight distance. You must still be cordial as you work together, but if you have a constant feeling that she is trying to outshine you on purpose, then there will be negative energy between the two of you.
You are the best judge. So take your time to think it through and then take a call on whether or not you would like to be friends with her. Being cordial and friendly is still always an option.
Good luck!
Simar
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