Every single day, we Indian girls have to hear so many ridiculous things that it almost makes our ears burn! Everybody (from the young to the old) finds it their moral obligation to pass some comment on us. And you know what? We’ve had enough! So we’ve come up with the perfect comebacks for every inane thing ever said to us.
(Warning: Oodles of sarcasm up ahead!) Don’t mess with us, world!
1. Why have you lost so much weight?
Why HAVEN’T you lost any weight? Tsk! Need tips?
2. Are you single?
Oh, I missed the memo where my relationship status became open to discussion!
3. I heard you broke up!
Wow! Did not realize you spent the better part of your life discussing me with other people. I’m really touched! *Hug*
4. Why are you so busy?
Why are YOU so free?
5. How much are you earning now?
Enough to hail a cab that will take me far, FAR away from such intrusive conversations! *Polite giggle*
6. Why have you put on so much weight?
It’s my prosperity showing! So, how’s life treating YOU?
7. Why don’t you settle down?
Why should ANYONE “settle” for anything...ever, in life?!
8. I think it’s time to find you a suitable groom!
Sure, why not? Wait...you said broom, right? I desperately need a suitable jhaaru!
9. You’ve started to look so old.
Old is gold, and I’m Bappi Da! *Does the shimmy around the person*
10. Why is your skin breaking out?
Is it? My dermat was saying it’s because I’m allergic to certain people!
11. I don’t like what you’re wearing!
Hmmm. So when’s your collection showing at Fashion Week?
12. Why are you looking so tired?
Ab kya bataoon! *Naughty smile*
13. Why did you quit your job?
Because Mark Zuckerberg gave me a better one. He has asked me to check Facebook all day and see if it’s working okay!
14. How much did you score in your exams?
Aunty, yeh sab moh maya hai!
15. When are you going to learn to cook?
Didn’t you hear? Maggi may not be banned after all. So I do cook!
16. Why are you always on the phone?!
*Whispers* Matters of National Security.
17. Why do you keep going for parties?
Because I try to get parties to come to me, but they keep playing hard to get!
MUST-READ: #GirlCode: 9 Things Girls NEED To Stop Saying To Each Other!
MUST-READ: Just. Do. Not! 10 Things NEVER To Say To Your BFF