To see your relationship fall apart is hard. Especially when you don’t feel like it’s time for it to end yet! You know that you and your partner are good together, but there are things that are driving you apart. However, we do believe that, most of the time, there is nothing that can’t be fixed if you really want to fix it. Every relationship deserves a chance to be saved before the two people in it completely give up! Here are a few things you can do to save your relationship.
1. Focus on the things you could be doing right instead of what your partner is doing wrong
As things begin to fall apart, we all look for someone to blame. More often than not when things go wrong in a relationship, both partners are equally responsible. Focus on what you could do to make the situation right. Surely there must be something? He may be asking for it in your view, but are you nagging too much? Are you complaining all the time? Do you lose your cool before you actually assess the situation? It is possible that both of you may be acting this way, but seeing you hold back on negative reactions will help him see things more clearly too. You can only control your own behaviour. So if you’re looking to save your relationship, concentrate on what you can correct rather than telling your partner to be a certain way.
2. Open up the gates of communication
Nothing can help save your relationship like talking to your partner. Talk about everything that is wrong, that is right, and things you could both do to improve your situation. If there is something particular he does to upset you each time, tell him - and tell him why it upsets you too. However, don’t confuse talking about these things with blaming him. Even if you do want to point out what he’s doing wrong, admit to what you’re doing wrong too! It’s never one-sided, so don’t make him feel as if it’s all his fault.
3. Get rid of any external influence
While we all may value the opinion of our friends and family, it is important to keep certain aspects of our relationship to ourselves and form certain opinions on our own. Sometimes, in order to see things clearly, it becomes important to be the sole decision-maker and not let others opinions cloud our judgment. Our friends and family only want the best for us. So when we tell them about a fight that we may have had with our partner, we tell them our side. And they, therefore, are bound to judge the situation based on our side of the story. Their feedback is then naturally not in favour of our partner. For the sake of your relationship, hold back from sharing every detail of every fight with your friends. Whether it's them giving you their feedback or you venting all the time, it is bound to create negativity in your relationship.
4. Think about why you’ve been together all this while
If you’ve been together, for no matter how long, there must be something you see in your partner! Think about all the things you do to make each other happy, the things that drew you to each other in the first place. Go back to the very beginning! What qualities of theirs made you think you could be good together? There is a reason you really want to save your relationship. So try and look at the positives - and show them to your partner too!
5. Revive your physical intimacy
If you’ve been avoiding being physically intimate or just haven’t been intimate lately, it's time to change that! Being physically intimate with your partner can bring the two of you closer emotionally as well. It’s a great way to show each other your love and affection. Don’t hold back or overthink it if you think you’re the one initiating it!
6. Try a few things you did when you first got together
Try some of the old things. Go on dates, enjoy each other's company without being in a rush all time, talk about random things, be silly together, go on long drives, laugh together! Just spend some quality time with each other and you will see a marked difference. Give each other that chance again. You both deserve it. :-)
7. Break away from some of your routine habits
While reviving the old things can be a great way to rebuild that romance, some routine habits are what often drag relationships to an end. We become so used to being a certain way and behaving a certain way even with our partners. Whether it's how we talk to each other, think about each other or the things we do for each other, it’s important every once in a while to break out of our monotonous patterns and try something new! Move away from your regular relationship pattern of always being together and doing nothing without each other. On the other hand, if you don’t spend enough time with each other, start with that! Just change the way you do things a little bit, and you can be sure it will help.
GIFs: giphy, tumblr
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Published on Aug 26, 2015