There are a million reasons why relationships don’t work out. And each one that doesn’t work out is unique. But are there things that we might be getting wrong when we’re looking for a relationship?
We bring you a few things that we might unthinkingly be doing to sabotage our love lives. Don’t worry - it’s all fixable!
1. Falling for the wrong guys
If they’re emotionally unavailable or, worse, “taken”, there’s NO point wanting them. We need to accept it, shrug it off, move on.
2. Allowing uncertainty or insecurities to overrule our instincts
Yes, we all have our insecurities - and our fair share of worries whether we look good, are worthy of love, and many such things. It’s perfectly normal. But we can’t let that stop us from acting on our instincts! If you like someone, you need to do something about - and if he doesn’t accept you for who you are, he’s not worth your time or energies. The sooner you figure it out, the sooner you can move on towards something better!
3. Not being clear about what we want out of a relationship
Is it a fling that we want, a casual romance, or something serious? If we don’t think this through, and decide what we want, how can we even find the right person to do those things with?
4. Overthinking things a bit too much
On the other hand, we can’t worry SO much about the future (and where we want our ideal relationship to go) that we forget to live in the moment! Less thinking, more action - go on, you can do it!
5. Not giving people a chance
So, he's interested but doesn't seem like your kind of guy... But you've met him what - maybe two or three times, at social gatherings? Don't be too quick to judge him - accept that coffee or drink he's offering and talk to him one-on-one. If he still doesn't seem to be the kind of person you'd want to be with, then fair enough. At least you gave it a shot!
6. On the other hand, saying yes to just about anyone!
The flipside is that far too often we give pretty much everyone a chance. Don't do that - plenty of not-so-great guys out there. If your gut tells you he is really, really wrong for you, just skip it. No point being "available" for people who are going to be a drain on your time and emotions. You deserve better.
7. Getting attached too easily
Not everyone we meet, or even date, is going to be as invested in us as we might be willing to be when it comes to them. So taking things too fast, and getting involved deeper than the situation or relationship demands, is not a great idea. Let things unfold as they do - find a pace that works for both you and your potential partner.
8. Being too emotionally closed off
Yes, we are independent women, with individual opinions and code of conduct. But the opposite of not being “too attached” can’t be being totally aloof. You have to let someone in. Be comfortable and don’t rush it, but when you feel that you can do it, open up. It’s okay to be a little vulnerable! How will someone let you
in if they fear that you’re shutting them out?
9. Getting involved with someone because you feel pressured, and not because you want to
Singlehood comes with its own set of pressures - the primary one being people constantly questioning WHY we’re single. You know what? Let them ask. It’s not their business, really, and you’re not obliged to respond. Don’t feel pushed into a relationship just because everyone else is in one, and you feel like you need to couple up as well. Think about whether you want it - whatever is on offer - and accept only when you’re very sure that your honest answer to yourself is yes. Not no, not even maybe, but a resounding YES!!
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