never fear because POPxo is here! We bring to you a realistic point of view on marriage and what changes/ should change with that.
To the married ones, we hope you are nodding in agreement because that would mean we’ve got it right. :-)
1. Do things change after marriage?
Yes, they do. But not all these changes are bad!
2. Does marriage come in the way of friendships?
We will be honest with you here, sometimes it does. Primarily because married people don’t have time to keep up with their single friends. When you have a husband, a new family and a whole new routine, it does get a little difficult to make it for all those movies, dinners and alcohol sessions! Having said that, as a married person if you come clean and explain your schedule to your single friends, they will understand. Also, even after marriage, you must hold on to your friendships and not treat them like they are unimportant! If both parties are willing to put in a little extra effort, your friendships can very much stay (and even bloom) after marriage.
3. How drastically does your routine change?
This one is tricky to answer, because it is SO subjective. It really depends on whether you work, whether you live only with your husband, whether you have in-laws at home etc. Irrespective, we really feel all girls must be forthright about choosing their own routines and not just go with what others choose for them. For instance: if you want to wake up and go to the gym, you must make it clear to your husband and new family that that’s how you would like to begin your day! If your husband is supportive (and for your sake – we really hope he is), he will totally understand and make sure your needs are met with!
4. Does life become boring after marriage?
Life (at any stage, really) is as interesting or boring as you make it out to be. Marriage does not have to be synonymous with a boring routine! Think of it this way - you now have a partner in crime to do more mad things with!
5. Is it appropriate to see your own family all the time?
To this we say – why the hell not? You’ve been as much a daughter to your own parents as he’s been a son to his! So, there’s absolutely no shame in wanting to meet your own family ever so often! For that matter, we’d urge you to make sure you never neglect them. Make sure you pencil in special sibling time too – just because you’re married you can’t (and shouldn’t) ignore one of the strongest bonds you’ve ever had (and will continue to have) in life!
6. Does it make sense to work after marriage?
Again, that’s entirely your decision. What we can tell you (from experience) is that there’s nothing like you CAN’T work after marriage. It’s very doable and highly encouraged! It not only means you don’t waste all those years of studying/working, it also means you contribute to the household income, which is very cool. Think about it, more the money, more the foreign vacays with your hub! The choice is entirely yours! *evil grin*
7. Do money issues come up in marriages?
Money matters do come up, but they don’t have to become issues. All it takes is a little bit of open communication with your husband and some financial planning. Remember though, there’s no shame in bringing up money matters. It’s better to be clear from the start than to resent each other later.
8. Do I need to change my dressing style after marriage?
In case you haven’t got the drift already, let us spell it out for you. We hope that as a country we are progressing and women don’t have to compromise and change every single thing about themselves. Having said that, if you do live in a joint family and feel that some clothes are inappropriate to wear in front of your in laws - that’s okay too. Saving them for a vacation or for a party instead of wearing them at home isn’t really the worst idea!
9. Do I NEED to learn to cook?
Just as much as your husband does – you can interpret that one by yourself. :)
10. When is the appropriate time to start planning a family?
That’s between you and your husband, and possibly the gynaecologist! If you and your partner are mentally, emotionally and physically ready for one of the biggest changes that can take place in your life – then that’s the “right” time. Don’t let anybody else influence this decision. Getting married doesn’t mean you are naturally ready for parenthood. So, it’s really a choice you need to make.
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