Dear #SingleLadies,
I’m 23 years old and single. Not because I just got out of a relationship, not because I am sitting, waiting, wishing for the one. That’s just my “status”.
What I don’t understand, though, is why I constantly get asked about this “status”! Suddenly, after finishing 4 years of college, all people seem to want to know is whether or not I am in a relationship. And, frankly, I’m tired of answering this question, asked again and again by this aunty or that oh-so-happily newly married friend of mine.
I am single. Okay? Okay.
For those of you out there who find yourselves equally “challenged” when it comes to the world of dating… This letter is to tell you that you are not alone, that you are not defined by “your” status. And that there are plenty guys out there who do want you, but even without them, you alone are enough to feel complete!
So, dear single ladies – as Beyonce so famously categorized us – it’s not you, it’s THEM! By “them” I mean the world we live in. The rules that society puts in place about what is appropriate and not appropriate. The way we are shaped and told to behave when it comes to a relationship. And the nonsense the world would have us believe is true when it comes to us not having that oh- so-coveted Relationship-with-a-capital-R.
Well, “them”, GO AWAY.
The next time someone asks you about your “status”, you need to stand tall and say that you ARE in a relationship. Because, guess what? You are! It is, in fact, the sole most important relationship you will have in this lifetime – it is your relationship with yourself.
Until you attain balance in this seesaw ride that being you is, and accept yourself as your own soulmate, another relationship will just seem…inadequate.
Decide today that your standards are not too high, no matter what people say. That there is a difference between “compromise” and sacrificing your goals. Accept that the little things that make your heart smile every morning and the spring that finds itself in your step each day is enough to be worth living for. Choose NOT “settling down” because what people are really talking about is “settling” for less than what you want. Embrace the relationship you have with yourself, your most kindred spirit – it is sacred. Precious.
And even if you are “waiting” for “the one”, who is taking their time walking into your world, remember that you can make a host of memories and run through a field of dreams and ambitions as you wait.
In fact, stop waiting and start living. Start loving…you.
Sincerely,
Me
Images: Shutterstock
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