Your Facebook wall is a mixed bag of surprises. Don’t lie – your life IS made interesting because of the variety of people whose updates and pictures and check-ins and statuses and comments keep you virtually entertained through the day.
Ever tried putting them in brackets, though? Well, we have, since we’re SO awesome at it. So, here you go – types of friends we ALL have on Facebook!
1. The “Stalker”
It’s almost as if this friend knows just when you’re online - the second you put up a status/ selfie/ groupfie/ shoefie, pop goes the notification: “So&So likes your status…”
2. The Perpetually Busy Friend
And the exact opposite of the previous one - a friend who is as close to inactive as one can be; thus, he/ she never ends up liking or commenting on anything you share with the world! Why even be on Facebook if you would NOT like to make your presence felt? Why?!
3. The Animal Lover
Yes, we get it – you love your dogs and cats and lions and tigers and bears and rats. But what makes you think we’d ALWAYS like to be at the receiving end of anything that moves and isn’t human?!
4. The “Faith Restored In Humanity” Being
Showering their indirect “kirpa
” on the world are these. You can recognize them from a mile away by their “look at what kind thing this person did” pictures and “inspiring” quotes and reposts. May you remain forever blessed…
5. The One Who’s ALWAYS Checking In
We get it, you go places. So do we. (Hard to believe, ain’t it?)
6. The Party Animal
The 5 a.m. party pictures, the “Too hungover for this crap” statuses and the 1 a.m. decked-up selfies – these are the makings of this particular friend. Make sure to keep yourself hydrated, we say!
7. The “Never Going To Respond” Friend
Besides making stalking easier, the idea behind Facebook’s invention was also to enable easier communication and get long-lost friends together again. It’s just lost on some people, though. Tag them, message them, poke them – their more-often-than-not response would be “Meh”. Look alive, folks, look alive!
8. The Intellectual
Ever found yourself liking statuses that you honestly knew were beyond your understanding? Ya, that’s the friend we’re talking about.
9. The “Blowing Kisses” Girlfriend
We get it, you love each other – and now the whole world knows about your unabashed love. Actually, portrayal of love never really hurt anyone. So, you go, girl!
10. The Activist Kinda Friend
“This is what is wrong with the world”, “This is what we have to change about the society”, “What I don’t get is…how could they?!” – such status messages are what make this particular type of friend. And, why not – we need more people who can raise a strong voice!
11. The #CanTalkOnlyInHashtags Friend
We don’t know whether it’s for convenience or just to sound cool, but some people #just #cant #get #enough #of #hashtags! It’s almost as if they can’t #function without them!
12. The Music Junkie
Getting to read names of artists you’ve NEVER heard of? Well, you have yourselves a typical music freak as a Facebook friend. Maybe one of these days you actually should try listening to one of their recommended artists.
13. The Selfie Addict
“I’m in the washroom, lemme take a selfie!”, “I’m wearing a new dress, lemme take a selfie!”, “OMG, new shoes. Shoefie!” By now, you’re more than used to seeing these friends’ pouty faces. And #OOTDs. Everything, really.
14. The Re-Poster
They find A LOT of things interesting, and they’d like to share it with ALL their friends on Facebook. Sharing is caring, yo!
15. The PJ King
So, he/she read a forwarded joke on WhatsApp, copy-pasted it on their Facebook page, and voila! Enter, the PJ Raja. Not that those jokes are bad necessarily. They’ve just been doing the rounds so much through texts that by now you’re like “Yeaah, okay...”
16. The Traveller
Now this is a friend who begets envy, thanks to his/ her constant picture uploads of pretty much all the places you’ve been dying to visit. The question, however, is – do you click on that tricky “Like” button after seeing those pictures, or does jealousy get the better of you? Hmmm…
17. The “OMG, I Love My Guy So Much” Friend
Okay, okay, we get it. He’s the “love of your life”, your “shona, paaru” or whatever other name you like embarrassing him with. But, just give this little thought a thought – would you love him any less if you didn’t post about it all the time?!
18. The Food Porn Enthusiast
“Oh, fooood. Click click!” These are the worst kind of people to have on your Facebook friend list at 3 a.m. – when hunger strikes! (Why did you have to go on a freakin’ ban, Maggi, why?!)
19. The Pesky Poker
What’re you trying to do, bro? Is “poking” even a thing any longer? What sort of pleasure are you trying to derive out of this? You want my attention? Well, you CAN’T have it.
20. The News Bulletin
You heard about the floods in Uttarakhand first from THIS friend before getting the dope from any news channel. You secretly kind of like it, though - this form of news bulletin is just more convenient, don’t you? Don’t lie, you!
21. The Tagger
And, finally, the person who tags you in pretty much everything he/ she wants people to take notice of – be it the “new venture” he/ she is promoting or the “interesting” quote from some random spiritual site online. Facebook, remove tag, remove tag! Please?
Images: Tumblr, Giphy
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MUST-READ: #FBAddict: 20 Signs You Are a Facebook Stalker!