Whether you’re just trying it or actually thinking about buying it, staring “sexy” lingerie in the face can sometimes be a totally surreal experience. It’s not that we don’t get the need for them – well, hello, who doesn’t want to feel oh-so-sexy?! – sometimes we just don’t get the items themselves! From how exactly do we wear them, to are they even covering anything, here are a few thoughts that all of us have had about “sexy” undies!
1. Um, is that all? Where is the rest of it?
2. WHAT? 4000 bucks for a piece of fabric smaller than my palm? UGH.
3. Okay. These stick-on bra cups look like uncooked chicken breasts.
4. How exactly do I wear this? Can’t figure out what goes where!
5. This multipurpose bra – is one of the purposes “Confuse The Wearer”?
6. Okay, this is just making me blush. Is it not suppose to cover ANYTHING?!
7. Where did the “garment” part of this undergarment go?
8. It’s not cloth if it’s all SHEER!
9. Oh God, why did I ever think that gluing something onto my nipples was anything but a horrible idea??
10. Why did I never learn to crochet? Could have saved myself 6,000 bucks!!
11. There is NO way that this is going to provide any support whatsoever.
12. Okay, I feel like if I buy this I’m going to end up dressed like a half-covered mummy. Or maybe quarter.
13. Jeez. This was supposed to be a push-up bra – not a push-my-boobs-into-my-chin bra.
14. I feel like if I breathe I might spill out!
15. Why is this called a teddy? I feel like I’m violating the memory of my childhood toys.
16. How do people walk when they wear this?
17. This is so pretty, but I feel like I’m going to get a rash.
18. Hmm, garters. It’s like suspenders, but I wear them inside.
19. This G-string is the spawn of the devil. Why did I let myself believe that giving myself a wedgie is a good idea?
20. (Half an hour later) OMG, it BURNS!!!
21. I have lace in a place where lace just shouldn’t be. I feel like I should apologize to lace.
MUST-READ: 19 Random Thoughts Every Girl Has About Her Boobs!
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