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#Guilty: 21 Little Lies We’ve All Told About Our First Job!

First jobs can be hard. We go in straight from college, all dreamy-eyed about getting on the fast-track for promotion and grand plans of changing the world, and then come up against the reality of HR and red tape and CTC and TDS - and the general hell that one’s first office usually turns out to be. But, hey, a girl’s gotta do what she’s gotta do - i.e., fake it until we make it! So we learn to tell a few little white lies here and there to make it sound like stuff sucks less. Which is fine, really - everyone does it, after all! And who’s going to tell on us, really? Today we bring you some of the most common lies (almost) almost all of us have been guilty of telling!

1. “So what if the money wasn’t good, at least they treated me well!”

Translation: “They made me bring coffee for everyone. :-(”

first job lies

2. “I was just doing it for the experience; not the money.”

Translation: “I really wanted the money, but they just refused to give me any!”

3. “I think I found my calling, bro!”

Translation: “OMG, I hate this job so much!”

first job lies

4. “My work was very rewarding.”

Translation: “It rewarded me with feelings of hatred towards all of humanity.”

5. “My boss was, like, the nicest person!”

Translation: “Except to me. I was her pet slave.”

first job lies


6. “I was a natural. Nobody even had to train me!”

Translation: “I had NO idea what I was doing, but I don’t think anyone actually cared.”

7. “I used to treat my interns like minions!”

Translation: “I WAS a minion.”

first job lies

8. “My colleagues were like family! Such friendly people!”

Translation: “Like a family with members who all want to kill each other.”

9. “Letting me go is going to hit them hard!”

Translation: “I don’t think anyone other than HR is going to notice...”

first job lies

10. “I learnt a LOT!”

Translation: “I learnt how to play Candy Crush while sitting in meetings.”

11. “I never once had to bring coffee for my boss.”

Translation: “Never once. Always at least twice a day.”

first job lies

12. “I was always the first one in office and the last one out.”

Translation: “It’s true! The office Internet was just so much better than my shitty broadband at home!”

13. “I’m going to remember the valuable lessons I learnt there - for life!”

Translation: “LOL, already forgotten what I was supposed to have learnt.”

first job lies

14. “I quit because I was feeling underused.”

Translation: “Overused and underpaid.”

15. “They probably still discuss me there. I was such a legend!”

Translation: “God, I hope I never meet anyone from there ever again! Why on earth did I get so drunk at that event?!”

first job lies

16. “The CEO and I were on first-name basis. Cool, huh?”

Translation: “Yeah. His name was CEO, my name was New Girl.”

17. “Trust me, I was my own boss!”

Translation: “Yeah! I got to decide how many pee breaks I could take during the day!”

first job lies

18. “We discussed important business in the evenings, after office hours.”

Translation: “Sometimes my colleagues would go out for drinks, and I would tag along and get to hear gossip about people from other departments that I never even met.”

19. “I never got involved in any of the office politics. EVER!”

Translation: “No one told me anything about anything that was going on. EVER.”

first job lies

20. “I made some great connections at my first job. Networking FTW!”

Translation: “I added people on Facebook. The requests are still pending.”

21. “I’m going to miss that job so much.”

Translation: “Thank GOD I’m out of there!!”

first job lies


MUST-READ: #GetTheLook: 5 Perfect Outfits to Nail Any Job Interview

MUST-READ: 10 Things Your First Job Teaches You!
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