We know that the temptation of the familiar is a force to be reckoned with, but we also know that our hearts always seem to know when he’s not “the one”. In case you were procrastinating about that much needed talk you need to have with yourself, we are here to help.
These are a few honest questions that you must ask yourself about your relationship - the answers might surprise you.
1. Am I genuinely happy?
Now this one here is a straight up, simple question, but one most people find hard to honestly answer. We aren’t asking you if you’re Santa Claus on a sugar rush. No one can be that happy all the time. But is your soul at peace? Does being with him or thinking about him give you that warm, fuzzy feeling? Does it make your heart happy? Oh and FYI, the answer should be YES. It should always be yes.
2. Do I see us being together for the next 5 or even 10 years?
Yes, we know the best way to tempt fate is to tell her all our plans for the future. But we’re not asking you to look into a crystal ball. We’re asking you to ask yourself if you can seriously envision a happily ever after, a “holding hands in front of a sunset while the end credits roll” type scenario with him.
3. Do I feel insecure?
If the answer to this is yes, maybe it’s because you are? Do you feel like if you don’t try hard enough he may move on to his next best option? Do you feel like you are just an option? If so, you need to have an honest chat with him.
4. Do I fit in with his family?
To be honest, this doesn’t really matter or even cross your mind when you’re just dating. But if you are looking at being with him longer term, you might want to think about this some more. It’s okay if you aren’t really besties with his sister or the ideal daughter to his mother - there’s time for all that. As long as you don’t cringe at the mention of them or shudder at the sight of them and basically get a friendly vibe from them, it’s good enough.
5. Is he going to be there for the tough times?
He needs to have instilled enough faith in you for you to feel that he is going to be there when things get tough. This is crucial. No, wait, this is more than crucial. For there WILL be tough times, and you’ll need him then more than ever to stand by you and support you.
6. Are we still together only because we’ve been together for so long?
A lot of couples fall into this classic dating trap. When you get together early in your life, you basically grow up together. This could also mean you change as individuals over the years, and sometimes grow apart. It’s okay if you want something different now, even if you have been together for many years. Just be honest with yourself and with him.
7. Are we completely honest with each other?
Okay, don’t go all “is anyone ever completely honest with anyone?” on us. We don’t mean to be preachy, but the truth is that if you and your man aren’t able to be honest with each other about the things that matter, you will never be able to build a strong, lasting relationship.
8. Are we better friends than lovers?
No one will know the answer to this one better than your heart. It’s important to be attracted to your partner as well. Yes, we’ve all learnt that love is friendship, and watched too many Bollywood movies where this seems to be case. But that shouldn’t doesn’t stop you from acknowledging the fact that sometimes friendship is not enough. Go for all-consuming, soul-crushing, spirit-lifting love. That should be the aim.
9. Are our dreams too different?
It’s okay to want different things in life. You don’t have to be one of those couples who mirror each other in thought, word and action - but you do need some common ground. Your dreams shouldn’t conflict with each other and should take you both to a similar place. But if your dreams are quite different, are are pulling you in different directions, then maybe it’s time to talk about what each of your roles are in helping the other achieve his/her dreams. Don’t brush it under the carpet - you need to have a real discussion about it.
GIFs: tumblr, giphy
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Sometimes our comfort zone is a happy space to be in, and sometimes not so much.